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the insipid conversation of others lays so heavy on me.

i can't seem to ignore it and it bogs me down, i have to do so much too suppress my hatred of their banality

folks say im so wonderful in conversation but its more that if i let them talk, i suffer

thank you for sharing the sartre it's refreshing to see how true it is

others judge you, so you judge yourself, even if you don't care about them

covid was such a great relief to not have to interact with people




Solitude isn't for everybody. I've always been attracted to it. My favorite books as a kid were about being alone: Robinson Crusoe, The Other Side of the Mountain.

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

― William Gibson

I think people are creative and intelligent, it's just that there are three spheres of life: public, private and secret. The public sphere isn't that interesting because people censor themselves so they don't get judged. People in the public sphere end up playing roles they learned and think that is how one should be in public. Most also have boring private lives.

Where it gets interesting is in our secret lives. I know people have rich secret lives because of the drama shows that people love but don't talk about because they give life to our fantasies and imagination, so to say what you really like about them would be too revealing.

There a couple of movies that demonstrate what would happen if people spoke about what was really on their minds with each other. In Judy Berlin a solar eclipse occurs but doesn't go away. It just stays dark for days and days so people start reaching out to each other trying to understand what is happening and in the process start telling the truth. Why not, because it's the end of the world.


Have we always been like this, or was it the others that made us like this?




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