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Wait 'til you learn that the "food pyramid" is not a literal pyramid made out of food...



You mean that Captain Crunch isn't an ancient Pharaoh?! That fucking imposter, I've been worshipping him and his corn syrup for years!!


It gets worse: Count Chocula is actually a commoner.


I knew that ever since he partnered with Hersheys. We all know real aristocrats only use Dutch cocoa.


My day is ruined!




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