No reason to feel inadequate. All kids are different, and they are not extensions of our egos. As a first-time parent, I am still trying to convince myself of this, but I am slowly beginning to believe it.
I was a very articulate 3 year old (I spent most of my time with much older children), but I turned out to be somewhat average when I started school (in the case of motor skills far below average), to the surprise of my parents, who thought I was a "genius" because I could parrot off huge amounts of random trivia, and tell engaging stories. My parents even had my IQ tested, and it wasn't particularly high overall. I still retain my trivia talent, but in the era of Google, whatever little value it once had is rapidly becoming worthless.
My 2.5 year old son is fairly quiet (but doesn't have any language issues - he says plenty, he is just cautious). My in-laws have the nasty habit of comparing him to his cousin who is the same age and is a great talker (her father is a used-car salesman, so that's not much of a surprise). I used to get very defensive, and point out the stuff he knows, and can do. Now I just let it wash over me.
A lot also has to do with environment. My son didn't know colors, shapes, alphabets, numbers and puzzles. I got an iPad, and he managed to learn these very quickly. My wife is a bit detached and unmotivated, so this was a stroke of luck. Would waiting a year or two till he started school have made a difference to him learning that stuff? I doubt it.
If your 9 year old can't read, I guess that's a problem. If your 4 year old can't read, who cares?
I was a very articulate 3 year old (I spent most of my time with much older children), but I turned out to be somewhat average when I started school (in the case of motor skills far below average), to the surprise of my parents, who thought I was a "genius" because I could parrot off huge amounts of random trivia, and tell engaging stories. My parents even had my IQ tested, and it wasn't particularly high overall. I still retain my trivia talent, but in the era of Google, whatever little value it once had is rapidly becoming worthless.
My 2.5 year old son is fairly quiet (but doesn't have any language issues - he says plenty, he is just cautious). My in-laws have the nasty habit of comparing him to his cousin who is the same age and is a great talker (her father is a used-car salesman, so that's not much of a surprise). I used to get very defensive, and point out the stuff he knows, and can do. Now I just let it wash over me.
A lot also has to do with environment. My son didn't know colors, shapes, alphabets, numbers and puzzles. I got an iPad, and he managed to learn these very quickly. My wife is a bit detached and unmotivated, so this was a stroke of luck. Would waiting a year or two till he started school have made a difference to him learning that stuff? I doubt it.
If your 9 year old can't read, I guess that's a problem. If your 4 year old can't read, who cares?