For what it's worth, I have concerns about legalizing suicide, and I'm not religious. My main concern is there's no changing your mind. A friend tried to commit suicide, and she is grateful every day she was stopped. I'm deeply uncomfortable imagining a legal and economic reality where people in distress can make such a decision quickly and permanently.
This is not the same thing as euthanasia, and not intended as an argument against it. I have some concerns about a slippery legal basis, but I'm confident we could successfully separate these issues.
A friend of mine succeeded just over 6 months ago and I regret not joining her every day. I live in a gun-free country so no easy way out. I’m currently in a rural area and considering bashing a policeman’s head in to get his gun and get it over with. The alternative is synthesizing Nembutal myself. All the other techniques are riddled with risks of failure.
I know too many people who regret their suicide attempts to let this comment go unanswered: Call whatever service is available in your country to speak about your thoughts.
I’m not going to involve myself any further, because I’m afraid I’d do more harm than good.
I know from personal experience how seductive and attractive thoughts of ending your own life can be. Imagining and looking forward to the escape from this horrible world can be so full of joy. The calm, clarity and bliss you experience is only known to those that have been there. But you are clearly looking for help. Otherwise you wouldn't have posted this. You would just have done it. Risks of failure? Anyone can find safe and foolproof methods on the Internet. So this is clearly not what you are looking for. Seek help. Doing this always feel like failure. But you become empowered. You will grow. I did. Need a rope to cling to? Go stoic. Solid navigation methods for life and the world.
I'm sorry you're struggling so much. Having a close friend kill themself can be a major trigger if you're depressed. I've lost friends by their own hands before, and attempted once myself, so your comment worries me and I'm concerned for you.
One thing I've (personally) found helpful is keeping a bucket list, ordered from least to most dangerous/life-changing. If your job is making you miserable? Quit. Wanted to move to a different country? Get a tattoo? Go skydiving? Smoke DMT? Transition? Go for it! You literally have nothing to lose, relative to suicide.
I don't know your life, but I hope you do what's right for you.
Barbiturate synthesis isn't particularly easy, for what it's worth. Though that depends on what precursors and equipment/glassware you can get, and whether you have organic chemistry experience.
What is causing you enough pain to justify suicide?
Don’t forget about carbon monoxide. It would be much easier and less painful to just get a tent or car and a propane heater. Shooting yourself is way too risky in my opinion.
Legalising suicide means something different than what you seem to be implying. Legalising suicide means that we don't throw people like your friend into a prison.
Probably you are just using it as a shorthand for "legalising assisted suicide. I assume you live in a modern western country where the idea of punishing someone for trying to end their live is unthinkable. Sadly there are still countries where they would have punished your friend. Because of this it's better to be aware of the distinction between the terms.
