tangential question: I'm 37 and think I have ADHD. My partner thinks I do, and when I read posts like this I deeply identify with them. What should I do? Get a diagnosis? My ignorance thinks the only course after that is drugs which doesn't sound that appealing..
I got diagnosed at 35. Definitely do it -- it's been life changing for me.
But don't stop with a diagnosis, get some coaching from an ADHD specialist. There's so much more to it than just attention -- emotional dysregulation, time-blindess, executive function impairment.
It's a whole thing. But with support you can cope with most of it. And most importantly learn to separate the condition from.your character.
You have lots of options. Meds always sound unappealing but they can be a huge boon for some. CBT can be very useful pretty quickly without any sort of drug, but it’s not for everyone. Executive Functioning coaches (not “executive coaches!”) can be useful for practical work/life organization strategies. Date around with EF coaches because many people with vastly different qualification levels work under that name.
Diagnosis can be emotionally helpful— they’re often done by neuropsych evaluation specialists but you should talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist first because evaluation is a few grand, most insurances won’t cover it if you don’t seem very likely to be diagnosed including DSM-V criteria like having significant life changing symptoms before age 12. The testing itself is a few hours of tests designed to push you to your limits for things like working memory, impulsivity, and reaction time. (I was waiting for the tester to say “Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention.”) Parts got frustrating but not like Megaman frustrating.
Depression and/or anxiety are commodities in 80% of those afflicted, so that’s worth paying attention to also.
Getting a diagnosis does not mean having to medicate. If it’s not for you, you can get non-medical forms of help. Not help as in you need help but rather help to make your life easier.
If you think you may have ADHD, definitely worth it to understand more about ADHD and a diagnosis will help those close to you to understand your behavior.
I highly recommend talking to a psychiatrist or psychologist that can see if you fit the criteria. However, if you’re willing to do your own research, you may be able to find a family doctor willing to let you try a few mediations before referring you to a specialist. (I did.)
ADHD medication is excellent from a patient’s perspective. The first-line ones are almost immediately effective. If you don’t like what they do, you can just stop taking them and try another one. In less than a year, you can try most of the known-working medications.
Even if nothing comes of it, at least you know. Knowing is half the battle. :)
I’d suggest trying the meds before you form an option on them. I take my ADHD meds every day just the same as somebody else takes heart medicine or wears glasses. It just is what it is.
And note: it does sometimes make you feel like cheating or something… you will have to arrive at your own conclusions. Suggest a good therapist to help deal with it.
This is the one; one diagnosis for ADHD is to take the medication and see how you feel. I've heard a colleague, also in his 30's, describe it as his head finally going quiet. I've tried my girlfriend's medication (also a mid-30's diagnosis) and it didn't have that effect, I just noticed I was a lot more deliberate in focusing on and switching between tasks.
Why would you report yourself as a health & safety risk? You're all good :)
Your partner is worried. So shift the work/life balance to have more life with your partner. Trust the team at work to understand.
Diagnosis from other people does lead to prescription drugs being offered. If someone reading is using chemicals, please pay close attention. Some doctors attempt to prescribe drugs in increasing quantities. That is not the path to sustainable balance. Medications are useful in an ambulance or hospital, they do help in emergencies! But they're not intended to be used routinely for a healthy life.
Peer support is best. Finding humble, open-minded peers can be challenging. The CouchSurfing (now BeWelcome) community is very open-minded and humble. Many church friends are humble. Teaching from the Bible is a reminder of how none of us are perfect, yet God forgives, and shows grace, mercy, and peace.
Some companies try to force concepts like pair programming, mob programming, etc upon their "human resources". It works well for people who like talking & body language, but not for people who prefer reading, typing & listening to music. Personally I prefer reading & typing, and that's why I use Hacker News.
You're not alone, you're welcome here. Interruptions are OK despite the cost of context switching. Diagnosis is not needed, you've already found help. I pray that God will bless you with peace in your personal and professional life, and they'll all catch up to your high-frequency genius ideas soon :)
