You're also not hosting any parties if you rent your home. But mainly that's because your pedantry will not be entertaining enough to keep any guests. Others however will realize that hosting your own services on a generic VPS or dedicated server gives you much more freedom than a you-are-the-product service that does anything legally possible and then some to lock you in. Sure, hosting on your own hardware in a place you control has advantages, but as you said it is also significantly more difficult so that is no excuse to dismiss other options.
I actualy think it's the best excuse to dismiss other options, as those options makes self-hosting even harder because it gives the ISPs ample reason to keep restrictions in place "Oh, you don't NEED to host it yourself you can just trust your data to live on some random machine somewhere else"
What I dislike about this use of the term "selfhosting" is that it's practically an advertisement for hosting providers vaguely disguised as a way to privacy and freedom, which it most certainly is not.
