I loathe phatic expressions in general, but yeah, over chat with someone you don't know is about as bad as it gets. It would be great if people actually meant the question, but they almost never do.
One good way to head that off is to go ahead and answer the question.
"Well, my Lumbago is acting up and I have this new cat who won't use the litter box. His name is Sammy because he looks kind of like Sammy Davis Jr. I'll post some pictures later. Of Sammy, not the litter box failure. Also I have this nephew I think is on pot. My sister is really worried but she's always worrying about stuff. It's probably because Mom seemed to like me better but that's hardly my fault."
After a round or two that people stop and think if they _really_ need to ask you anything at all, much less implicitly get in your personal business with a impertinent "How are you doing?".
"How are you doing?", 90% of the time it's said, is social coding for either "I exist, acknowledge me before I continue" or "I see you exist, may I continue?" It's literally the human equivalent of a file existence check.
I totally get that, and as someone who grew up in LA I'm accustomed to a frequency of pretense. To me personally, "how are you" and "what's up" are complicated questions no matter what mood I'm in. Where I live, if you respond with anything other than "good" or "great", they look at you funny even if they know you. Heaven forbid saying you're just "okay", because then you might need to see a therapist. /s
Besides, not every culture uses phatic expressions all the time and somehow their civilizations don't collapse. It's a matter of taste, and I'm not a fan.
> To me personally, "how are you" and "what's up" are complicated questions no matter what mood I'm in. Where I live, if you respond with anything other than "good" or "great", they look at you funny even if they know you. Heaven forbid saying you're just "okay", because then you might need to see a therapist. /s
Reminds me of the "How To Talk Minnesotan" video. [0]
I'm a Midwestern transplant to SoCal and getting hit with "How's it going?" or the equivalent still gives me anxiety, 15 years later...
