Apologies for being skeptical, but why would someone talk to their wife in the same tone that they write HN comments? When I'm commenting anywhere on the internet, I say what I have to say and don't worry about whether someone will read the comment, and if they do, whether they'll like what I said. My only goal is to write out things I think are true. Talking to my wife involves a rather different set of objectives.
Just because you don't know people on the internet personally doesn't mean you shouldn't care about how they would feel when reading your comments. That doesn't mean you have to treat everyone on Hacker News like your wife, but having empathy and courtesy is something that should be part of all conversations, regardless of target audience.
