When someone says I'm essentially a murderer because I don't believe what they believe, I get a bit annoyed.
When someone says I believe in something I don't believe in, and gets condescending about it, I get somewhat annoyed, but I mostly want to know what's going on in their head. I think I have some of it figured out, but you just accuse me of dishonest debating tactics. Why do you think I'm so wrong? Why do you think the people who think I'm a monster necessarily have a point?
- Yes, you are right that many theists equate "does not believe in God" with "would perform the most perverse and tortuous murder if given the chance." That would agitate anyone, and is not what I'm critiquing. But beyond this, do keep in mind that theists are like any other segment of the general population. If you let the beliefs and actions of some color your vision of all before you've met them, you very literally have a bias against a legally-protected class. This doesn't mean you're acting on it, but it is there. Some people like to know it is there, some don't care.
- Secondly, you're speaking contradictions. When you say that you want to understand why some people think such and such about you, and someone else gives you some insight into their thinking (and this wasn't me), and your reaction is to defend yourself, your actions show you aren't attempting to understand, you're attempting to CORRECT. But you can't correct what you don't understand. You also can't correct epistemological and psychological concerns by shouting from the top level that all they understand about you is wrong. I mean, you CAN. But you won't like the results.
I know all theists aren't like the ones we're talking about here. A lot of them don't think I believe in anything at all, and I'd say that's nice of them except they wouldn't regard something like "understanding atheism" as being nice as much as being basically cognizant of the world around them, like I'm not especially nice for understanding Lutheranism.
I passed the yelling phase a while ago. I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused, and I am annoyed but I do attempt to keep it out of my voice. I think people projecting a massive amount of anger onto me is their problem, not mine. As for trying to correct the condescending people who think I believe in some supernatural ethos or entity, maybe it's a bad habit, but thinking I must be angry to do so is a worse one.
When someone says I believe in something I don't believe in, and gets condescending about it, I get somewhat annoyed, but I mostly want to know what's going on in their head. I think I have some of it figured out, but you just accuse me of dishonest debating tactics. Why do you think I'm so wrong? Why do you think the people who think I'm a monster necessarily have a point?