> Either I keep winning the lottery, or there's something at play here besides luck.
Really? You have found several life-long friends at parties? How old are you? What's your definition of 'friend' in this case? How good of a friend are we talking?
Most of your friends and acquaintances are not relationships formed at educational institutions or workplaces?
First, you have to be at least 40+ to even begin deeming a relationship "life-long", even then it's somewhat hyperbole. Very few of my friends have even struck up 1 such relationship from such events. I think it's rare. Purely anecdotal of course, looking at the people in my own life and that of my friends'.
> This is a skill you can learn. It's a skill with tacit knowledge requiring real-world practice in order to develop it. There are also entire books, blog posts, etc. written on it, if you care.
Wait, let me get this right. What exactly are you saying is a skill one can learn? Meeting life-long friends at parties? Are you talking about manipulation? Exploitation? "How to win friends and influence people?"
Bullshit like presenting not your true self, but a likable facade in order to please other people and meet social expectations?
Yes, I have found life-long friends at parties. Good enough to bare your soul, discuss intimate problems.
> Wait, let me get this right. What exactly are you saying is a skill one can learn? Meeting life-long friends at parties? Are you talking about manipulation? Exploitation? "How to win friends and influence people?"
That took a dark turn.
The skill is the ability to have worthwhile conversations with new people. That’s all. I don’t know what you put under the umbrella of “manipulation”, but if you look at the book “How to win friends and influence people”, you’ll see that the advice is pretty simple stuff like “listen to people”, “remember people’s names”, or “be sincere”.
This stuff sounds all so basic and obvious when it’s written down, but if you observe people in the wild, you’ll see people who are good at talking with others, and people who make obvious mistakes, like talking about themselves too much, belittling people, or being fake. If you are good at the surface-level skills, people will get more comfortable around you and talk more honestly about more sensitive topics. The conversations get more interesting and from there you can develop the seeds of friendship.
Really? You have found several life-long friends at parties? How old are you? What's your definition of 'friend' in this case? How good of a friend are we talking?
Most of your friends and acquaintances are not relationships formed at educational institutions or workplaces?
First, you have to be at least 40+ to even begin deeming a relationship "life-long", even then it's somewhat hyperbole. Very few of my friends have even struck up 1 such relationship from such events. I think it's rare. Purely anecdotal of course, looking at the people in my own life and that of my friends'.
> This is a skill you can learn. It's a skill with tacit knowledge requiring real-world practice in order to develop it. There are also entire books, blog posts, etc. written on it, if you care.
Wait, let me get this right. What exactly are you saying is a skill one can learn? Meeting life-long friends at parties? Are you talking about manipulation? Exploitation? "How to win friends and influence people?"
Bullshit like presenting not your true self, but a likable facade in order to please other people and meet social expectations?