For me, getting better at this came out of introspecting on a song lyric... "I crucified my hate and held the world within my hand." My introspection started with committing to not using the word "hate" for a year, but instead find ways to express what was bothering me rather than jumping to judgement (that was hard work). Through the introspection that resulted from that exercise, I came to understand that a lot of it is framing.
When someone cuts me off on the road, it's easy to judge them because they think they are the only one in a hurry and they are willing to risk harm to others. But it's possible that their child is dying in the hospital and they are trying to get there so the child won't spend their last moments alone. I can't know which it is. Would I rather give the inconsiderate driver a break they might not deserve or the grief stricken parent judgement they don't deserve? Since I can't know which it is, I have to choose which side I'd prefer to err on.
That's an extreme example, but once I figured this out, I found that it gave me more peace to not judge in such situations. It's much better for my own mental health to hope their loved ones are okay than to be angry. And my choice doesn't affect the other driver at all. Without judgement, there isn't anything to hold a grudge about. Once I had practice with highly provocative situations like that, work was easy by comparison.
When someone cuts me off on the road, it's easy to judge them because they think they are the only one in a hurry and they are willing to risk harm to others. But it's possible that their child is dying in the hospital and they are trying to get there so the child won't spend their last moments alone. I can't know which it is. Would I rather give the inconsiderate driver a break they might not deserve or the grief stricken parent judgement they don't deserve? Since I can't know which it is, I have to choose which side I'd prefer to err on.
That's an extreme example, but once I figured this out, I found that it gave me more peace to not judge in such situations. It's much better for my own mental health to hope their loved ones are okay than to be angry. And my choice doesn't affect the other driver at all. Without judgement, there isn't anything to hold a grudge about. Once I had practice with highly provocative situations like that, work was easy by comparison.