Why are you failing so hard at seeing your choice of wording through a humorous lens?
As written, your statement reads like "there's nobody around, and as a result, nobody is here to tell me what to do."
In the same breath you mention there being someone else around, but apparently your wife doesn't count as somebody.
It's funny, and judging from the +27 of my comment illustrating the amusing self-contradiction, I'm not alone in finding the humor.
