I have horrible upbringing, almost no support and worked my self from the streets in hardcore eu country towards multiple career changes and personal transformations.
I have seen some horrible things and taken part in dubious endeavours. I have been betrayed from closest friends and family. So what?
Society is hard to understand, the rat race is never ending, everyone is in some form pathologically unstable and in search of validation.
Ethics is ultimately a personal choice.
I realized early, that I don't want to define my personality as a reflection of my childhood and upbringing. This is my way to "win in life".
I have all the excuses to be horrible and abusive, manipulative or even sadistic.
But I am not. And this is not easy, but in the end of the day I define myself by my own ideas and honesty and honor are things to die for.
Be what you want to be. But know that you have a choice towards freedom.
And freedom comes from inside.
I have a friend who I thought had it worse than me in "human" things: his family was definitely way better than mine, but mother and dad were very distant, and not the nicest people I knew. So I used to forgive him a lot of stuff because I thought that over time he would be more "humane" because his friends understand him, etc.
For example, he took loans from most of my friends and used that money to sometimes repay each one of them to hide the fact that he owed so much money. He still didn't repay most of them .
So in the end, I found myself at this thought: I have an alcoholic extended family on top of my dad being a drinker, loads of my own internal hate towards the society because of being poor and less fortunate (which I almost never externalised), sadness due to seeing so many people around me deserving so much better and never making it due to how poor they were; yet I never thought that doing those things my friend did would be a proud thing to do.
So in the end I realised it's the choices that you make. Maybe a truly simple idea, but the choices very much define you.
I have seen some horrible things and taken part in dubious endeavours. I have been betrayed from closest friends and family. So what?
Society is hard to understand, the rat race is never ending, everyone is in some form pathologically unstable and in search of validation.
Ethics is ultimately a personal choice.
I realized early, that I don't want to define my personality as a reflection of my childhood and upbringing. This is my way to "win in life".
I have all the excuses to be horrible and abusive, manipulative or even sadistic. But I am not. And this is not easy, but in the end of the day I define myself by my own ideas and honesty and honor are things to die for.
Be what you want to be. But know that you have a choice towards freedom. And freedom comes from inside.