I completely agree with you (and with other replies to my comment). It's just saw people's lives ruined for much less than that. Heck, storms happened over not what they actually said, but what people thought they said. Even being female and holding progressive views doesn't offer much protection - I saw feminists attacking other feminists using strange invented terms like TERF or SWERF.
For example, you may well have an opinion as to whether people identifying as females but but being biologically male should compete in sports with other females, use women's restrooms and changing rooms etc., but you better be careful when you decide to express this opinion outside a circle of close friends - especially if you have a family to feed.
I was homeless for nearly six years, along with my two adult sons for whom I was financially responsible. I am absolutely not a stranger to the fact that the world is perfectly happy to watch me starve while going "La la la not listening" to my observations that my gender is a factor in my intractable poverty.
This is precisely why I am unwilling to back down on some things.
If it is any comfort, I took your initial comment as well-meaning and intended to be helpful. It's just not a position I can embrace.
There comes a point past which politely going along to get along is part of the problem, not part of some kind of solution.
I have a strong track record of leaving nuanced comments on HN asserting that "No, it is not as simple as sexism and intentional exclusion of women in X case. Here is the data and women make choices." etc.
But in this case, I am quite confident that women not only get actively encouraged to go into early childhood education, they get actively advised that this is what they should do if their initial desired major has a strong math component and they are having trouble with the math and this is not done to men.
My oldest son ended up math phobic because his teachers couldn't teach it and brought a lot of baggage to the table. So I have seen firsthand what it can do to a child and that child doesn't have to be a girl to be negatively impacted by the emotional baggage that so many elementary school teachers have over the subject of math.
It can be a boy whose relationship to math is being egregiously harmed long term because of so many elementary school teachers having had their own dreams crushed on the excuse that "math is too hard for you" rather than being told "You can audit the class. You can get a tutor. You have to pass it, but it's fine if you only get a C as long your overall GPA is high enough. etc."
It doesn't just break women to have this done to women. It is breaking our society.
So if men value math and STEM, this is a practice they should be concerned about as well. It isn't just a women's issue by any stretch of the imagination.
I'm not angry at you. I'm not offended at your attempt to look out for my welfare in a cold, cruel world.
It's just the wrong answer in this case and I've basically crawled naked across broken glass for nearly twelve years on HN to claim my right to speak my mind to some degree here and I am going to exercise that right on details of this sort.
Doreen has been around on HN for a lot longer than this account. She's definitely one of the OGs. I would believe 12 years, that's about how long I've been here and I don't remember a time when she was not a member.
Not all of them, just these, created just to label someone whose views some people don't like. It is "strange" for me, because it's heavily loaded, it includes a false premise (that the victim is transphobic), and is used towards people who have nothing to not only with "radical" feminism (whatever this would mean), but any feminism at all.
For example, you may well have an opinion as to whether people identifying as females but but being biologically male should compete in sports with other females, use women's restrooms and changing rooms etc., but you better be careful when you decide to express this opinion outside a circle of close friends - especially if you have a family to feed.