I really dislike this advice, I think it encourages people to be shallow and superficial. This quote from Parks and Recreation captures it nicely
Ron (sitting down next to Leslie at the Senior’s Ball): Everything ok, Knope?
Leslie: My boyfriend is a lawyer, and he’s smart and interesting and there are a lot of things about him I really like. But he acted like a real jerk today. I don’t know, it’s something about the way he treats people or something.
Ron: He’s a tourist. He vacations in people’s lives, takes pictures puts them in his scrapbook and moves on. All he’s interested in are stories.
Leslie: Ha.
Ron: Basically, Leslie, he’s selfish, and you’re not, and that’s why you don’t like him.
Ron (sitting down next to Leslie at the Senior’s Ball): Everything ok, Knope?
Leslie: My boyfriend is a lawyer, and he’s smart and interesting and there are a lot of things about him I really like. But he acted like a real jerk today. I don’t know, it’s something about the way he treats people or something.
Ron: He’s a tourist. He vacations in people’s lives, takes pictures puts them in his scrapbook and moves on. All he’s interested in are stories.
Leslie: Ha.
Ron: Basically, Leslie, he’s selfish, and you’re not, and that’s why you don’t like him.