Oh man, 9:30 is my "this is inhumanely early" time. I usually get up around noon. Having kids will either be terrible or super easy, as I can keep the kid until 6 am, while my wife sleeps, and then we can switch shifts.
You’d earn gazillions of sleep deprived parents opening their deep pockets out of sheer desperation if you’d invented something like that. Maybe your next project?