What is the best programming dad joke?

[weekendreccs]

[motyar]

Q: Why did the functions stop calling each other?

A: Because they had constant arguments.

[dave_sid]

I’d tell you a joke about UDP but you might not get it.

[_ah → dave_sid]

I'll tell you a joke about TCP. If you don't get it I'll tell you again.

[splintercell → dave_sid]

Well then repeat it again, slower and slower, until I get it.

[quangio → splintercell]

you might not get it

but

i'd tell you a joke about UDP

[cbsks]

The 2 hardest problems in CS are: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors

[krustyburger]

A programmer I once knew decided to quit because he didn’t get arrays.

[ZeroGravitas]

There are 10 types of people, Those who understand binary and those that don't.

[stakkur]

The best place to keep programmer dad jokes is in a dadabase. Like this one:

A programmer is sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, “Get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer returns home with 13 gallons of milk and says, “They had eggs.”

[raidicy]

What is a linux contributor's favorite instrument?

Git tar

[kazinator → raidicy]

Didn't warm up to the gui tar though.

[z5h]

Q: How many Prolog developers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Yes.

[sebst]

Why do Java developers wear glasses?

Because they don't C#

[wr1472]

A DBA walk-ins into a bar and joins two tables together

[maverick74]

Next year will be the year of Linux!

[FlyMoreRockets → maverick74]

Next year wil be the year of Linux on the desktop.

(It's already largely conquered every other environment, from supercomputing clusters to SBC.)

And keeping this on topic:

"What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar."

[maverick74 → FlyMoreRockets]

Yes, your right on that!!! I forgot "the desktop". I would edit it, but then your comment wouldn't make sense.

BTW, just to clarify, I use Linux as my main desktop everyday and I do recommend it to everyone, but Linux as mainstream desktop is still a (bad) joke. Lol

[gradschool]

Q: Why do programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

A: because 31 (oct) = 25 (dec)

[weekendreccs → gradschool]

This is my favorite so far

[motyar]

Q: Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?

A: Inheritance

[kazinator → motyar]

Q: And to get rich real quick?

A: Multiple inheritance!

[stringham]

!false

It's funny because it's true

[wr1472]

A web developer walking into a bar and leaves when she doesn't like the table layout

[motyar]

Q: What do you call an idle server?

A: A waiter.

[euroderf]

CPU1: How many humans does it take to count to 63,235,965,678? CPU2: Can they use their toes?

[URfejk]

A programmer's significant other tells them, "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

[motyar]

git few here https://github.com/wesbos/dad-jokes

[motyar]

Unfortunately these jokes only work if you git them.

[knopkop_]

What's the only way to generate a truly random string?

Ask a Windows sysadmin to exit VIM.

[maverick74]

Wait, I've got the ultimate programming dad joke (ok... Maybe this qualifies more as fake news, but still funny):

"Programmers just release a stable version of GNU's the Hurd!"

Now, let's see who votes for this joke. Ah ah ah ah

[maverick74 → maverick74]

wait, how do i get a "minus 1" point? I didn't even thought that was possible!!! ahahaha

Was that such a bad joke?! ahahahahah :)