I am just staring to realize that along with some bad decisions, wrong understanding of life and people and suboptimal skill and knowledge acquisition in past years I must have some degree of lasting depression. One aspect of positive change that I do notice now that was totally missing is literally feeling dopamine “scent” or “grasp” when contemplating something important I need to do among the things that I chose to be doing like my job and side projects, in the worse times it all felt like a burden, something I just owe to myself. But little by little I start to remember that I love doing a lot about it. Hopefully the dopamine gears will continue turning and speeding up!
