Thanks for taking the time to write about so many of your thoughts! I used to be atheist when growing up, but over time I've become agnostic. I'm not sure that's even really the best term for how I feel and what I believe, but it's the best term that I know. In that way, I found it compelling to read the path you took to your current beliefs, because I know that when I find the inspiration to read more deeply into religion, I will also likely start by reading more about religions with origins in the East. Mainly because, as you said,
> they are great works for humanity to better themselves they tend to be more philosophical than religious in their nature.
Right now, that's what resonates with me the most, and the closest I can envision myself to becoming spiritual. At least, at this point in time. As a result, I can't say there's a lot more I knowledgeable enough to respond to with regards to Judaism, Islam, Christianity (and its various offshoots). I've read a few stories from pieces of the Bible in high school, but I can't remember which ones specifically, and we approached them from a literary perspective rather than a religious one. I actually remember being unreasonably disgruntled at having religious texts assigned for reading. I like to think I've become much more open-minded since then, and hope to continue to develop in that positive direction.
I was going to say something about understanding why people believe in god or God, and why that is, but I realized it actually sounded condescending when I don't mean to be. All I can really say is, I have a very hard time taking leaps of faith, and with respect to God, I'm not ready now and not sure I ever will be. But I really appreciate your taking the time to say so much about the path you took to get to where you are with your beliefs today. I also really love your perspective on Jesus. Thank you!
A few of the wow things that I found out after I read the bible , that where completely inconsistent with what people told me was in the book, are:
It never mentions hell, it is extremely clear that the punishment for sin is death and that the dead know nothing. It talks about a lake of eternal fire in revelations, but every single reference to eternal fire in the entirety of the books when referring to eternal fire refers to something that has been burnt up and will never return. I became interested in where the doctrine of hell came from and it was introduced in the early dark ages, by Catholicism. Early Christians did not believe in a place of eternal torment for sinners, which would be logically inconsistent with the overarching message of the entirety of the books which is restoration with no sin in creation, hell would be a part of creation thus a pocket of sin would remain. The doctrine has been thoroughly refuted as inconsistent and not supported by the texts but it is still a major doctrine point of many of the organized christian religions. This was my absolute #1 issue that caused me severe bias against Biblical religious, before I took the time to read the book. How could a loving creator be such a sociopath to torment people forever. I was really surprised to find that there was no support for this doctrine.
The second was that humans where created/evolved/whathaveyou on earth to be shepherds and care-tenders of the earth. This has always been the plan, the bible does not state that we as humans go to heaven, it says we die until judgment, if we do not accept that the only way forward is to work inside of the framework of gods plan, we receive a second death at that time, where we are erased from history, literally like we never existed. I don't think the intention here is cruel but I look at it like a system with a malfunction, you fix the malfunction or you remove and replace the part entirely. After this, heaven and earth are destroyed, the human body is restored back to what Adam and Eve where free from genetic defects and are returned to a restored earth, which was the original plan and rebellion did not change that plan. there is some debate about how long we have to accept submission to god, but my personal belief in reading Christ's actions is that forgiveness is available to the very last minute, possibly even at judgment. I think this was the point of when crucified the thief Gestas asked Jesus to remember him when he enters his kingdom and Jesus responds that he will be with him in paradise. I believe the symbolism of this is that redemption is available to the very last moment and is broadly available.
These two things really contrasted with my experience of being told you are all sinners and going to hell. Both are completely opposite of what the texts actually say.
I am not going to try to convert you, or save you, but you seem genuinely interested in positive messages about life so won't just say read the bible and all will be reviled (or some other hocus pocus), I encourage you to explore the offerings of religion that I did (especially Buddhism I think it has a lot of level up as a human value), but I would urge you to read the parables that Jesus told, these where stories he would tell to help people see right and wrong, and are more philosophical in nature than they are religious, they are really powerful and they give a really good overview of how Jesus loved and was a devout pacifist. They require little biblical context and honestly the less context you have to more clear they are as you will tend to read them and not infer other context into them.
My personal favorites are:
Parable of the Prodigal Son, which is a great story about the fact that no one is beyond redemption, but human nature is to judge and insist that others are not worthy of redemption. Basically the human nature of I am good, they are not.
Parable of the Good Samaritan, In context Samaritan where disdained and looked down on. That part is not clear without other context from other texts.
Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, this one has to be hands down my favorite. It highlights how we can be forgiven, but we will hold others to a higher standard than we ourselves believe we should be forgiven for.
Parable of the Two Debtors, another really good one that contrast the importance of love over everything else.
Again, not trying to force anything on you or turn this conversation into a get saved message, I just know how the parables helped me see things differently. I think these stories are profound and give the best insight into what a man of peace Jesus was. If anything I think people should see him from his own words and not the actions of some of the people that claim his name. He is like the Free Hugs guy X 1000.
I totally understand on leaps of faith, I am a evidence based person for the most part so I totally understand that you can't make the connection with faith. I 100% get that. I still have my issues with it and I abandon it from time to time, but then I get right back in the same circle of this damn thing is designed, who designed it. So my only resolution is to keep as much faith that is possible for me personally. Even doubting Tomas (a disciple of Jesus) had doubts in faith and Jesus talked to this extensively. He also experienced it when god had to abandon him at crucifixion to pour out the grapes of wrath on him. I think if it is true, then our creator can completely understand that us being disconnected from him makes it hard to make leaps to faith and I think this is why doubt in faith was highlighted among many of the disciples. Peter is also highlighted here as when he takes his eyes of Jesus and experience fear he falls into the water and I think these stories are there to let us know that if even the people that walked with, ate with and communed with Jesus had doubts from time to time, that it is perfectly reasonable for us to have them.
Finally, for anyone that might find the discussion of religious doctrine offensive, I apologize it was not my intent. I find the subject interesting and enjoy the what-if scenarios of it. My intent is to highlight those what-if's and not serve as a sermon or an attempt at conversion.
> they are great works for humanity to better themselves they tend to be more philosophical than religious in their nature.
Right now, that's what resonates with me the most, and the closest I can envision myself to becoming spiritual. At least, at this point in time. As a result, I can't say there's a lot more I knowledgeable enough to respond to with regards to Judaism, Islam, Christianity (and its various offshoots). I've read a few stories from pieces of the Bible in high school, but I can't remember which ones specifically, and we approached them from a literary perspective rather than a religious one. I actually remember being unreasonably disgruntled at having religious texts assigned for reading. I like to think I've become much more open-minded since then, and hope to continue to develop in that positive direction.
I was going to say something about understanding why people believe in god or God, and why that is, but I realized it actually sounded condescending when I don't mean to be. All I can really say is, I have a very hard time taking leaps of faith, and with respect to God, I'm not ready now and not sure I ever will be. But I really appreciate your taking the time to say so much about the path you took to get to where you are with your beliefs today. I also really love your perspective on Jesus. Thank you!