I've dealt with burnout twice in my life so far, and I'm going to make sure it never happens again. Both were post-crunch meltdowns. The first, when I was just getting in to the industry, and didn't know better. The second, not so long ago, when I should have known better.
The first thing I've learned is that I can't accurately judge my limits. Even if I feel okay and on top of the world... things start to slide. Suddenly I'm writing code so bad, I'm committing code that doesn't even work, but thinking it does, because my brain is in outright rebellion.
Both times, I couldn't code for six months. The first time, I just tried to hide it. I quit my job, and took another. I wrote almost no code in those six months and was paranoid I'd be found out and fired. I wasn't, thankfully.
The second time, I took a few months off work, and requested a change of job for a period of time, so that I didn't have to do any coding. The second time was really bad, I started having panic attacks just looking at code on a screen. I'd start sweating, heart racing. It was horrible.
What I ended up doing for most of those six months at home, was building little plastic robot models. No computer use. Just quiet, methodical, brainless work.
Eventually I recovered, and started coding again. I'm better than ever now, which is good. But I learned an important lesson, which is that working too much is always bad. I know, it seems like a lame ending to this story, but it's true and ultimately important.
Very well put. Very sorry to hear about your experiences - I think this highlights quite clearly what a serious thing burnout can be.
Hopefully you won't mind if I mention my experience - though I didn't do a computer science degree (something I very much regret), my engineering degree was a very difficult time for me - a family situation carried on throughout the degree, a very, very serious situation (and also very personal, so not going to go into detail), as well as very many other bad things happening to me on what was already a ridiculously difficult workload (my Alma mater has a great reputation based on working people into the ground).
There are so many stories I could tell about that time... will stick with just one, however - in my final year my dissertation supervisor treated me like a research assistant - going off and looking at stuff for him which he'd review then throw away, rinse + repeat all year until 2 weeks before the dissertation deadline when he told me I didn't have a project (if I didn't hand anything in that would have been my degree over with, I would have had to repeat the entire final year elsewhere, and would find it hard to actually get a job, so pretty damn major).
After 2 weeks of 18-hour days I managed to write a 100-page dissertation and code (in fortran!!) the entire model myself. I eventually got an A grade for the dissertation despite everything, but this supervisor told me afterwards I couldn't pursue a PhD with him because I was a bad student (yeah, kinda dodged a bullet there, not to mention that it would have been a distraction from what I've come to realise was always my calling - programming).
In fact my degree choice was largely influenced by 'spiritual' beliefs held by my family, so I had the endless conflict of not actually liking my subject (I wanted to do maths or computer science) while trying to actually survive it.
I can't tell you how absolutely destructive that was, it's taken 6 years to even be able to cope with studying on my own, let alone doing the kind of work I need to go in the direction I want to with programming.
Anyway, now things are way more positive, focusing on studying the things I need to learn while avoiding burnout (see my other post). A lot of it is getting over the impact it has on self-esteem. Trust me, burning out like that is like a forest fire for the ego.
It's worth noting that just because you are enjoying yourself doesn't make you immune to burnout. My second bout of burnout was from a workload I chose to challenge myself with. I was a designer, programmer, and a team lead, and ultimately, was trying to cram three jobs in to a week. I loved it, and thought I had it all under control, until the day it all fell apart.
I'm experiencing this right now. My productivity at work is dropping to nothing. Looking at the code base is getting harder and harder. Unfortunately, I am under a mountain of debt and am responsible for 3 other humans, so trying something new is not an option. Note to young programmers: please manage your finances wisely and not fall victim to the "they have X, so why can't I" syndrome. There aren't too many fields where you can make the kind of money we do, so don't trap yourself financially--it closes too many doors.
I've been there. Just know that this too will end. Take some quiet time out and use your analytical brain to think outside the box. I did that and found a way to manage my debt so that I didn't feel crushed by it (closed all credit cards, and took a loan on my 401k - paid it all off in 3 years). Started working remotely part-time and took the occasional day off. Little things help.
Agreed. I have a big enough loan (not absolutely huge, but big enough to be serious) right now which locks me into my current job. Do not get into debt unless you absolutely have to people, unless you enjoy stress + being forced to stay in situations you don't want to. It's never worth it.
Go to popular bar or night-club and you might be surprised how many burn-outs work there. I know because I was one of them. In addition to your typical starving artists, college student, and part-time model that work in the bar. I worked alongside the worldtraveller who wanted to make some coin before moving onto the next city, burnt-out programmer from Wallstreet. Programmer from SF that was working while his girlfriend was in school, thought it was a good excuse to get out of SF. Post-doc comp. sci who just doesn't want to be around computers for now.
The manager made it point to only higher beautiful people, according to him. But he also enjoyed the company of smart people (less likely to be on drugs) so went out of his way to hire college students and backpackers.
After a few weeks of carrying cases and kegs up and down from the cellar, and partying all night, I was in the best shape of my life.
Alan Watts has a great metaphor for keeping your balance. He says it's like riding a bike. When you start falling on one side, your natural instinct is to turn in the other direction. Of course, if you do that, you fall very fast. The key to staying upright on a bike is to turn in the direction that you're falling into.
The metaphor translates very well to keeping your balance as a human being - go into the direction that you're falling into. In other words, if you find that your body and mind and subconscious is telling you, "I don't want to do X anymore!" don't try to force yourself to do it anymore. And if you find that the message is "I really want to do X" follow it.
Of course, to keep your balance on a bike, you need to pay attention to what your senses are telling you. And to keep your balance in life, you need to pay attention to what your subconscious is telling you.
There's a balance to be sure, and there's some learning about yourself that is necessary. For instance, there's a critical difference between the feelings "I'm burning out and do not want to do this task" and "This task is boring".
It's possible you're feeling lazy; it's also possible that you're closer to burnout than you realize and that is your brain/body telling you that you need a break. Only you can decide which is which. There are consequences to being wrong either way, but, well, c'est la vie, non?
I've had some success maintaining some longish work hours, even under the American-style "vacations are for people who live in other countries and don't have babies" regime, for a very long time with this basic approach because only rarely will I force it, and when I have to for some reason I always budget some days that I will simply take off from computing entirely.
"He says it's like riding a bike. When you start falling on one side, your natural instinct is to turn in the other direction."
No it isn't. Not at all. My natural instinct is to steer in the direction of the fall. I can't imagine this even being remotely true for anyone else, either.
I very distinctly remember my first instinct when learning how to ride a bike was to turn opposite of the fall. The same could be said for when I first learned how to drive on snow. It only takes a couple bad falls before your instinct changes with bikes and cars, but I don't think people make that realization with burn out.
I think it was initially a bad analogy; he probably meant something along the lines of noticing you're about to fall off a ledge of sorts. In that situation, you would stick out a limb to keep your center of gravity on solid ground, not lean further away :)
I agree that it's vitally important to keep burnout in mind when you're the type of person prone to it (I suspect a great many HNers are), however I wonder whether being over-cautious is potentially as, if not more, damaging in some circumstances.
Let's say, theoretically (cough ;-) you're in a job you don't like which is absolutely making you miserable but is actually quite easy in many respects, what if the only way to actually get a job you might like is to work really hard outside of work-work?
The problem is that if you're the kind of person who cares about this stuff, it's worth anything to avoid a life stuck writing CRUD surrounded by people who don't care in a place where even the concept of code review or non-sourcesafe source control is laughed off by seniors (cough again ;-)
It's a fine line to walk in this kind of situation. To me, the key is to have plenty of scheduled breaks, accept + deal with f-ups (i.e. not doing the amount of work you wanted, it happens), have clear goals with smaller goals along the road, etc., and most important of all - do stuff you absolutely love. Nothing is guaranteed to protect you from burnout, however.
A lot of the problem with transitioning from somewhere sucky to somewhere decent is that, in order to actually be up scratch for a job like that, you have to put in a lot of hours in your own time, especially if you don't have a computer science degree and have gaps to fill in.
IMHO, sometimes burnout is just a risk you have to run, though you can certainly work to minimise it.
Let's say, theoretically (cough ;-) you're in a job you don't like which is absolutely making you miserable but is actually quite easy in many respects, what if the only way to actually get a job you might like is to work really hard outside of work-work?
I am specifically in this situation right now, and below you can find my story about previous burn-out.
Frankly, I've set myself a schedule for extra work that is stiff but not brutal. I am for an hour and a half of work on my personal stuff per day. It doesn't seem like much, and I could probably do more, but I'm playing it safe.
I don't think I'm being over-cautious. I'm making good progress, I'm not sacrificing my personal life, and the benefit is that -- and this is the important part -- I'm not forcing myself on to a schedule I can't maintain. Which I think is ultimately the leading cause of burnout.
I keep a google docs spreadsheet of my work, so I know I'm not slacking. But I can load balance in a way I can't do at my job -- if something isn't entertaining, I pick a different part of the project to work on.
Ultimately I feel I'm on track to set myself free within two years tops, and I do so safely.
I absolutely applaud your reasoned approach - being reasonable about a schedule while consciously avoiding practices which lead to burnout is the way to actually get out of the situation.
I think a key part of resolving burnout issues is separating feelings of self worth from hours worked; strictly enforcing breaks as well as work is vital - you are doing what you can, while consciously avoiding burnout.
I definitely think logging stuff is a key part of the whole scheme; me being me, I feel like I've done nothing, but looking back at my logs I can see I've put in quite a few hours.
Personally I'm aiming for around 3 hours each weekday, more on the weekend, but have for several weeks failed to meet this for various reasons. I've avoided beating myself up about it, rather trying to find ways to make the work more feasible. It's a hard thing to do.
Um, so, avoid burnout by not doing your job. It's cool that Jacques had that option and all, but how does that really help the vast majority of developers who don't? I'm burned out right now, but quitting my job isn't much of an option either.
I don't know your situation, and I'm only speaking from my own experience, but I've been in a situation where I was absolutely certain that quitting was not an option (because of mortgage/bills/the usual). Once truly burnt out, I had no choice but to leave, and it was only then that I saw, in hindsight, that not only had quitting been an option all along, but that it would have been far less damaging in every way (financially, mentally, career-wise) to quit before I got burnt out. And there were plenty of other, better jobs waiting.
But read the article - the author didn't find a better job, he stopped working altogether. Yes, he was futzing around on his "farm," but he wasn't being paid for it and wasn't working a "job" in the traditional sense.
Moving jobs is always an option, yes, but people who are truly burned out won't suddenly be better because they changed jobs - the issue goes deeper than that, and a mere change of venue won't fix it.
Generally you're probably right, but people do get stuck in jobs for real because of external constraints. A mortgage is not always one of them because it usually means you have capital to trade for your mental health.
Divorce, Healthcare needs, Child Support, Immigration Issues, are the kinds of thing that can leave people genuinely stuck. Not to mention the possibility of not being able to get a good reference because of being burned out.
Obviously, it's up to each person to avoid these kinds of trap, but they do exist and they do damage what could otherwise be productive lives.
It is an option if you're willing to lower the bar on your standard of living, and if you have a family, your family's standard of living. Eventually, you weigh everything and decide whether or not the effort and experience is worth the pay or life itself.
Sad to say, but isn't that why some people end up committing suicide? Because they don't see how anything's of value?
Of course, such quitting-income decisions are easier to make if you're single and young. Looking at yardie's experience, that's a great example of just going and doing whatever, without requiring the huge cash one would need to do what OP did. OP was obviously in a very fortunate position.
Balance. Having any sort of hobby/interest that is physical and away from your desk is more important than you might think. Personally, I keep a garden and do home improvement projects, launching into one of these things tends to break the down cycle. Yours might be entirely different, but it also gives you a fresh viewpoint too. Think of it as a giant university, sometimes the guy down the hall in a completely different domain will have insight into what you're working on. You'll find building physical/meatspace things is not all that different from virtual.
I took up a pottery class this past winter. It was perfect because it surrounded me with people who knew how to take things slow, sit down and focus on the task at hand. It provided the necessary mental shift I needed to not feel overwhelmed by the day-to-day ADHD-like issues of managing a huge project for the first time. I think that if I hadn't taken the class, I would have been more susceptible to burnout.
Labeling this "burn-out" might be a bit harsh. The guy was quite productive ... although he did things in a new field. This kind of change is sometimes very important for a person's mind. I recall reading that Jim Clark (of Netscape) spent an insane amount of time automating his yacht. In Jim's case, some of the non-trivial problems he solved ended up being commercialized. Same thing with this dude ... if he wanted to apply his experience to a renewable energy startup, he can very well make a high-value contribution to society. One final point ... as I was reading the post, I felt that this isn't all too different from doing a PhD :)
Yea, that didn't sound too bad and he didn't spend much time talking about the actual burnout itself.
Maybe there are two kinds of burnout; one is "tired of coding" and the other is "tired of life". The preferable one is quite obvious, although neither is much desirable.
Ahhh so only people who are single minded have the luxury to have their condition called burn out?
Have you been burned out? I have and I'm still recovering. And my condition ain't that bad either. But discord between what I have come to expect of myself and what others have become to rely on from me and the sad reality that mere thought of activities I used to excel in, make me physically sick.
First you get tired, then you stop enjoying your work, then slowly others change their opinion of you from being the coolest person you become a drag in their eyes. Then you loose job, then your spouse leaves you. And then the society calls you a looser.
Some people get lucky and see where it is going while in early stages. Others try to compensate and blow it.
And there's the third kind who yap about it while not having a slightest clue.
Lol. Wow. I guess I officially had burnout. Not surprising, really, since I knew it myself when I finally hit the wall (but not the lead up).
I'm an entrepreneur and I've been working at my startup for a year. I stopped exercising (partially due to a long term sports injury I was recovering from) and I was heads down on my project full time. After some cofounders didn't work out, I resolved to work harder.
Oh yeah did I mention I was having a kid and looking to move? ;P Sure ingredients for burnout.
I thought I could be Superman. I think adversity would only make me stronger. It did but it broke me down before it built me up.
It culminated with the move and then the kid. After we moved, I spent about a month not working, not reading TechCrunch, and removed myself from most hardcore tech activities. I spent it renovating the house for the kid. It was still stressful but my mind rested from the startup.
At this time I started exercising again. I was out of shape but my injury recovered enough to do sports again.
I then had my child. And while it was a new addition in my life that required a certain amount of time there was a certain (re)birth in my desire to restart/continue my startup.
Now I'm working harder than ever and motivated. Yes, it's tough and when I think about all the ways my startup can go down in a ball of flames (or a whimper) it gets stressful. But the other 90% of the time I'm really excited and can't wait to work more.
The ultimate lesson, as stated below, was balance. The startup ended up being a longer haul than I thought. Like Mark Suster says, you can't ignore health and family as those two things are things you can't get back once they've left. They also have a way of keeping personal morale up which helps you continue your arduous journey.
I'm working as hard as before but setting aside personal time without feeling guilty about it. I find myself happier and working more efficiently.
Energy wise it can also be unhealthy lifestyle: not enough vitamins, Not enough exercise, ... You don't feel it when you are young but getting older you can't get that easily away with abusing your body.
It's been about 15 years since I had mine. I slept a lot, too, and basically stopped all social interactions for roughly two months. Messed me up pretty good.
It's good that it happened early in my professional career and before I had any dependents. I am now able to better self-regulate and have been able to pull back when appropriate without getting in too deep.
But most importantly I learned not to take work so seriously. It's not really all that important in the grand scheme of things.
I'd have to agree with iqster in that it doesn't seem to be burn-out as much as doing something new. He doesn't seem to talk much about the symptoms listed at http://jacquesmattheij.com/Are+you+suffering+from+burn-out although he said he has them (even "if [he] didn't know" it?). Not that I doubt his story or anything, but he seemed motivated enough to build new things and not sulk in depression (symptom #10).
"When you're burned out change, do something that is as far away from what you were doing when you were burned out."
I guess this means he defines being burned out as tired of what you are currently doing, and not burning out on doing something productive altogether. In that case, he's probably right in saying that you should change when you're burned out.
How is becoming incapable of doing what you trained your whole life for, due to too much of it not burnout? He even lists symptoms he experienced.
Jacques was lucky that he had funds to start something unrelated (like living his life) and productive, but he kept repeating that his business could suffer if he didn't have people who could take care of it (or whatever). The fact is that he couldn't bring himself to do what he was doing until that point of life to make a living.
My mother has borreliosis. She got ill 10 years before it was known to be a disease. She is also a workaholic and for 10 years she was told that she ain't nothing wrong with her and that she's lazy by her very own doctor. And her response was: "mr. Doctor, now that I know how laziness feels, I promise I won't ever call anybody lazy again."
It's a tangent I know, but look at your attitude. And I sure as hell hope you don't ever burn out to find out how it feels and for you to tell me how well are you able to work. I'd rather have you ignorant for the rest of your life.
Let me say this much it might not be as hard as stroke, but It sure as hell feels worse than losing motivation or getting bored.
Could it be that the human nervous system just didn't evolve to keep doing the same thing for years on end, and so our industrialized culture isn't good for us?
I've had severe burnouts, and don't want to go through one again. It sucks and it's a waste of time. I've avoided it this far by simply refusing to sacrifice that much. There are some things (e.g. my relationship with my girlfriend) that I will not sacrifice. At 50 hours per week, I expect an explanation. At 60 hours, I want to be paid back in vacation time. If this means I'm fired, I'm fired. Unfortunately, not everyone has this option, but this approach has kept burnout at bay thus far.
It's not that I object to working more than 40 hours per week. Considering the time I spend reading about technology and learning new things, plus side projects-- programming, writing, game design-- I've probably been working 65-75 hours per week on average since high school. But if a boss wants direct control over all of that 65, there better be a damn good reason for this arrangement to exist, especially because I learn a lot more on self-directed work than I do by doing what I'm told to do.
I think this is a great essay. I think motivational crises happen because "work" for most people is psychological monoculture, and we're not built to be that way. I get annoyed when people idealize hunter-gatherer existence, but it was better in one regard: people did a lot of different things (making clothes, building houses, finding food) for work. Specializing for a few years to solve a hard problem is great, but no one's working life should be limited involuntarily to one tiny corner of one discipline, a sub-specialty for which if demand for it collapses, that person is utterly fucked.
If you want to see the desperation of the modern working person, consider what working people do on their vacations: picking their own fruit, hiking, working on open-source projects. They're so deprived of opportunities to actually work by their office jobs that when they have free time, they actually do activities that most humans would consider work. I wrote about this phenomenon here (http://michaelochurch.wordpress.com/2010/10/25/those-who-wor...). It's the fact that their lives are consumed by work-that-isn't-work that makes these motivational crises so common.
Unfortunately, outside of the most innovative few percent of technology startups, burnout is treated as a feature rather than a bug. Look at Wall Street or the mainstream "corporate ladder". It's a war of attrition: wear people down until 95 percent have motivational crises and quit or get fired, then choose the (badly damaged, but still functional) remaining 5 percent to be the next generation's leaders.
The first thing I've learned is that I can't accurately judge my limits. Even if I feel okay and on top of the world... things start to slide. Suddenly I'm writing code so bad, I'm committing code that doesn't even work, but thinking it does, because my brain is in outright rebellion.
Both times, I couldn't code for six months. The first time, I just tried to hide it. I quit my job, and took another. I wrote almost no code in those six months and was paranoid I'd be found out and fired. I wasn't, thankfully.
The second time, I took a few months off work, and requested a change of job for a period of time, so that I didn't have to do any coding. The second time was really bad, I started having panic attacks just looking at code on a screen. I'd start sweating, heart racing. It was horrible.
What I ended up doing for most of those six months at home, was building little plastic robot models. No computer use. Just quiet, methodical, brainless work.
Eventually I recovered, and started coding again. I'm better than ever now, which is good. But I learned an important lesson, which is that working too much is always bad. I know, it seems like a lame ending to this story, but it's true and ultimately important.