I didn’t say I had anything against anybody who has kids and falls on hard times. I understand that makes my comment rather off topic in this thread. I do know a lot of people who definitely did not have their finances in order and decided to have children anyway. The children are the ones who suffer most in these cases! This is super irresponsible and selfish. Hell, I once knew a couple who literally said they might have a third child because it would be easier with the extra child support money...
Here I agree with you in principle - deciding to have a child while not being able to financially support it, and just hoping for the best, is extremely irresponsible and likely to permanently scar a new human being.
That said, before judging a struggling family, there are also some other things to consider:
- Pregnancies happen by accident. It's both easier and harder to conceive a child than people think. It can and does happen by accident even with multiple methods of birth control applied, and at the same time a couple can try to have a kid and not succeed for years (or at all).
- Your job can disappear suddenly and through no fault of your own. I had this situation in the past, where my coworkers and I didn't know that there was a hostile takeover of the company happening for almost a year before it run out of money and stopped paying us.
- Random events (family problems, illness, or a pandemic shutting down the global economy) can suddenly break your finances while a child is underway.
- People miscalculate.
- The drive to procreate is, in general, one of the strongest forces in all living organisms, and thus very hard to control - especially with abstract considerations like numbers on the screen symbolizing your chances of survival.
> Hell, I once knew a couple who literally said they might have a third child because it would be easier with the extra child support money...
Can't speak about that particular couple, but in general, that's economic reality. I've seen such things too (hell, my wife and I sometimes joke that we should try for two or for four, because there's little difference between three and four kids, and having a fourth gives guaranteed retirement from the government). Sometimes benefits are set up this way on purpose, by countries that want to improve their population growth.
I mean, I'm not going to campaign to put any actual restrictions or laws in place and I don't go around judging people or complaining or whatever. But I do think that people shouldn't have children unless they are able to take good care of them, and financial stability is part of that.
I guess my complaint is that many time people don't think of consequences or plan for the future and then other people (their children in this case) are the ones to suffer.
