I'm so fatigued with my job. Opening up my work laptop gives me anxiety. Getting slack notifications gives me anxiety. I'm fatigued with the codebase, I don't care about the product or the customer (banks) and want to be done with it.
On the other hand I'm saving good money and I don't have to deliver to a particularly high level, but even this level of output is an emotional grind.
Feeling stupid because I should be feeling grateful to have a job. Had coworkers furloughed, furloughs at other companies across London, etc. Yet here I am looking to quit?
Facts:
- almost 2 years out of uni, 'Senior' Engineer doing Scala
- London based, under lockdown saving 50-60% of my paycheck
- cheap rent (£650), no dependents, no mortgage, subscriptions: contact lenses, spotify and PAYG phone
- good physical health
- by the time I'll have served out my notice period, I'll have:
- 8 months runway @ £25 a day for groceries and discretionaries,
- 10 months runway @ £15 a day
- got a good amount of social stimulation at my place of residence. Not reliant on virtual happy hours for getting my fix.
- got a software project I'm enthusiastic about. Would be keen to put more time into it.
I think I've already made my decision but it's been good to type this out. Any further input greatly appreciated.
At first I thought I was going to do freelance work, but the longer I didn't start doing that the more I didn't want to do it. So after a year or so of playing with new tech and starting several personal projects which didn't turn into viable businesses, I began making some money with a website.
Because that profitable website and others I built afterwards weren't actually that profitable, 2 years after I quit, I had to do some freelance work to not run out of money. I had to do 3 years of small freelance gigs while growing an online business. So for me it was 5 years before I could pay myself without having to sell my services.
Not knowing from the beginning what I really wanted to do cost me 5 years of, let's say, austerity. Never really had any financial problems during this time, but I also wasn't comfortable applying for loan to buy a house.
I don't want to offer any advice, just share a personal story which might be relevant.