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As someone who grew up in different debate-club-esque environments, I agree wholeheartedly. I had to unlearn quite a few patterns of thinking and behavior—patterns that had been positively reinforced by most adults in my life—when I grew up.

For me, the most damaging effect was the separation of debate and decision making. In real life, if I advocate for a position—be it where we eat dinner or where my child goes to school—and I'm convincing, things actually happen. We have to go to that restaurant and my kid has to attend that school. Debates happen to inform a decision all parties are trying to make together.

As a kid, the opposite was true. Debate was about proving my intelligence in exchange for praise from my teachers, parents, and peers. It was an athletic competition in which our positions were our jerseys, in that we took them off after and went home.

I was reflexively argumentative for a decent period of time as a young adult before I realized the damage it caused to my relationships and how unproductive and dishonest it was.




I think it's Richard Dawkins who uses the word discussion to contrast with the word debate (used in the combative sense).

In a discussion, several parties with different perspectives work together to make progress toward truth, whatever that means in the given context. If one or more parties has their opinion changed, that's seen as productive.

In a debate, several parties plenty a points-based game (perhaps even literally), and if someone is seen to be changing their mind, they lose.




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