Not op but I appreciate the detailed rewrite. I do find your notes confusing though.
The claim that your last sentence is more constructive seems a bit weak. what is constructive about it, you basically just derived a logical consequence that touching the website yields a result? Also, what does 'expanding' even mean in this context? At no point did you give any constructive feedback (what should be improved, why is it low, why is it 'really low' etc).
on the note of 'really'. i find 'dreadfully' much more useful than 'really'. much stronger, gives a clearer indication of how bad it really is. 'really' doesn't do anything in this context, let alone be less pretentious.
> you basically just derived a logical consequence that touching the website yields a result?
The suggestion was pretty implicit in the original comment but I think making it explicit makes the tone of the comment friendlier. It shifts the focus away from just pointing out the bad to also focusing on how to be better.
> Also, what does 'expanding' even mean in this context? At no point did you give any constructive feedback (what should be improved, why is it low, why is it 'really low' etc).
Well sure, if I was the one actually giving the feedback, expanding even more would be even better. Even just the gestural focus on how to be better still does help the tone I think, though.
> on the note of 'really'. i find 'dreadfully' much more useful than 'really'. much stronger, gives a clearer indication of how bad it really is.
"dreadfully" is stronger than "really" but that doesn't make it clearer or more useful. "This is 5.6 bad points" is stronger than "this is 3.2 bad points", but without having any standard for what a "bad point" is, it doesn't really communicate any meaningful information. I think "dreadfully" similarly shifts the tone of the comment to being more negative without adding any real content.
> let alone be less pretentious
The pretentious-ness isn't as strong, but I think there's a hint of it that comes from using a "fancier" word without adding much actual content.
The claim that your last sentence is more constructive seems a bit weak. what is constructive about it, you basically just derived a logical consequence that touching the website yields a result? Also, what does 'expanding' even mean in this context? At no point did you give any constructive feedback (what should be improved, why is it low, why is it 'really low' etc).
on the note of 'really'. i find 'dreadfully' much more useful than 'really'. much stronger, gives a clearer indication of how bad it really is. 'really' doesn't do anything in this context, let alone be less pretentious.