> “There are shortages of economically attractive men,” lead study author Daniel T. Lichter tells The Post. Although we like to think marriage is based on love, he says, it “also is fundamentally an economic transaction,” and women want partners whom they can call their equals.
> While women in their mid-to-late 30s perceive a dwindling pool of prospective partners, men at this age perceive an “endless supply” of possible partners as it is more usual for an older man to choose a younger partner than it is for an older woman to, the study says.
> While Americans see traits like “be caring and compassionate,” “contribute to household chores,” and “be well educated” as of nearly equivalent importance to being a “good husband” or a “good wife,” they are far more likely to describe “be able to support a family financially” as a very important trait for a good husband. This finding holds across education level, race, and gender: 72 percent of men and 71 percent of women say being able to support a family financially is very important for a man to be a good husband, compared to 25 percent of men and 39 percent of women saying the same about being a good wife. (My note: Money shot; what society says and what people are doing are two different things)
The high level TLDR is (based on the data) men are content to date down, women are not, and economically disadvantaged men (which there are more of due to globalization and other macro factors) are exiting the dating marketplace, creating a market imbalance. Toss in data showing men online target ~20-25 years old for a partner, while women prefer to date around their age as they age, and here we are.
> While women in their mid-to-late 30s perceive a dwindling pool of prospective partners, men at this age perceive an “endless supply” of possible partners
Have you tried? I'm in my 30s having the easiest dating life and I can totally understand the results if that one study pointing out that men peak in attractiveness at like 36.
If you aren't finding dates in your 30s, then I doubt you were ever successful with women, assuming you didn't just let yourself go.
Not sure what other response is appropriate here other than "lol yes."
> I doubt you were ever successful with women
Arguably true, at least in that there doesn't seem to be some program of personal activity I can follow that reliably results in dates leading that lead to a relationship.
Arguably false, in that periodically something just happens (sometimes through my efforts, more often not) and there's a strong connection and it grows into a months or years long relationship.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not saying I find it impossible. I'm saying I find it so hard to relate to "an “endless supply” of possible partners" that I'm inclined to look on it pretty skeptically. If it were just me, then I'd consider the likelihood that I'm a bit of a niche good with some niche tastes, or I just need to work through some dating equivalent of _Cracking the Coding Interview_, but I know from conversations with my friends over the last 10 years that I'm far from the only one who's perceived their mid-to-late 30s dating life through a lens of non-abundance.
Lifting gains convert to dating gains in my experience. Property owner, stable job, financially secure, in shape in your 30s and you’re punching above most of the unpaired competition.
I would say there is a quite a bit of evidence that would corroborate this thesis.
The majority of dating is moving online:
https://news.stanford.edu/2019/08/21/online-dating-popular-w... (Meeting online has become the most popular way U.S. couples connect, Stanford sociologist finds)
But female participants aren't finding what they want:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/10/dating-... (The dating gap: why the odds are stacked against female graduates finding a like-minded man)
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12603 (Mismatches in the Marriage Market) referenced by:
https://nypost.com/2019/09/25/women-are-struggling-to-find-m... (Women are struggling to find men who make as much money as they do)
> “There are shortages of economically attractive men,” lead study author Daniel T. Lichter tells The Post. Although we like to think marriage is based on love, he says, it “also is fundamentally an economic transaction,” and women want partners whom they can call their equals.
https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/better-educat... (Better-educated women ‘find it harder’ to meet partner)
> While women in their mid-to-late 30s perceive a dwindling pool of prospective partners, men at this age perceive an “endless supply” of possible partners as it is more usual for an older man to choose a younger partner than it is for an older woman to, the study says.
https://americanaffairsjournal.org/2020/02/the-cost-of-thriv... (The Cost Of Thriving)
> While Americans see traits like “be caring and compassionate,” “contribute to household chores,” and “be well educated” as of nearly equivalent importance to being a “good husband” or a “good wife,” they are far more likely to describe “be able to support a family financially” as a very important trait for a good husband. This finding holds across education level, race, and gender: 72 percent of men and 71 percent of women say being able to support a family financially is very important for a man to be a good husband, compared to 25 percent of men and 39 percent of women saying the same about being a good wife. (My note: Money shot; what society says and what people are doing are two different things)
The high level TLDR is (based on the data) men are content to date down, women are not, and economically disadvantaged men (which there are more of due to globalization and other macro factors) are exiting the dating marketplace, creating a market imbalance. Toss in data showing men online target ~20-25 years old for a partner, while women prefer to date around their age as they age, and here we are.