I agree with that totally. In the case of technical incompetence for sure it's demoralizing for others to pretend it's a dispute with no "right" answer.
In the case I was involved it was two very competent senior developers and the dispute was between a iterate-fast-and-learn approach, and a build-for-the-future approach. It wasn't clear which one was right at the time and I respected both their opinions. It became clear that it was growing from a technical disagreement into something much more personal. I let it go too far and felt like I needed to step in and pick a side. I believe that I missed an opportunity for them to come to a compromise and learn something about that experience, instead ending up with one very pissed off dev, and one that thought I was on their "side" from then on.
Sometimes you feel like you have to make a decision just because your in a position of power, when actually in many cases you can be there as a mediator, lowering the emotion and keeping things professional and let people work it out themselves.
In the case I was involved it was two very competent senior developers and the dispute was between a iterate-fast-and-learn approach, and a build-for-the-future approach. It wasn't clear which one was right at the time and I respected both their opinions. It became clear that it was growing from a technical disagreement into something much more personal. I let it go too far and felt like I needed to step in and pick a side. I believe that I missed an opportunity for them to come to a compromise and learn something about that experience, instead ending up with one very pissed off dev, and one that thought I was on their "side" from then on.
Sometimes you feel like you have to make a decision just because your in a position of power, when actually in many cases you can be there as a mediator, lowering the emotion and keeping things professional and let people work it out themselves.