I would say I don't have an internal monologue. But that doesn't mean my mind isn't wandering all over the place. I don't talk to myself, I don't play out conversations in my head. Instead it's more like a collection of "thoughts", or "images", or visualizing myself "doing". I can get extremely caught up in this. There's also an awful lot of contemplating objects, observing features, visualizing how they interact.
Very little "words", however, unless I'm actually talking aloud or writing.
Come to think of it, I wonder if this could have anything to do with why I always found "reading comprehension" tests curiously difficult & strangely capricious in school.
Say you're planning to write a letter (or an email), but you're not actually sitting at your computer to do it right at that time. You're in the shower, or walking around or whatever. Will you play out specific sentences you intend to include, in your mind? Could you do that if you wanted to?
Not OP, but their description fits mine perfectly. When I write, I don't know what will come out until it does. This goes for this comment (funnily, typing this is not harder because I'm aware of the process - it just pours out) as well as the novel I'm writing. When I'm not writing the novel, but thinking about it, there are two different stages: "thinking about the chapter I plan to write" when I form the sentences, but that quickly becomes impossible because I can't keep more than a few sentences in my head.
When I'm not in front of the computer, I often abandon this process and instead focus on the larger concepts: the alien species and their evolution and civilization, the plot and the major events that need to be there. These are all concepts or scenes. I don't want to say they're "visual", they're more "concepts".
I can compare this to wanting a cup of coffee. I don't think "I would like a cup of coffee" (although that is what I might say if I have to vocalize it). It's more a feeling (wanting) and a concept (a cup of warm coffee). The label underlying the concept is secondary.
When I think of my novel in the shower, I haven't the slightest idea idea how I exactly will get to the major event at the end (because there are several major events before that which I haven't gotten to). This can only unfold when I write.
Edit: I just did the "Vividness of Visual Imagery Questionnaire" and I don't have aphantasia, but I realize that when asked about scenery that I've seen, it's easier to have a clear picture, whereas completely imaginary scenarios are concepts, rather than vivid images.
> "thinking about the chapter I plan to write" when I form the sentences, but that quickly becomes impossible because I can't keep more than a few sentences in my head.
I mean, I doubt I could keep more than a few sentences in my head without any mistakes, although if I were to mentally rehearse more than that they would likely come back to me to some degree as I went to write it out. As you form the sentences, is it like silently talking to yourself (how I'd describe my experience)? Or something else?
Yes, when I put things in words, it becomes a monologue with words. I can start it, but especially with fiction, it quickly becomes impossible to keep it in my mind. For lack of better expression: words are secondary to me. They are the labels that are needed when I communicate with others, and on rare occasions with myself. But most of the time it's a stream of concepts, rather than words.
More like I will peruse concepts I want to discuss, storyboard or outline style. I could compose a sentence AFK but it's not my natural thought pattern, I'd only do that if I considered it of particular importance.
The reading comprehension point is interesting. I'd like to see some studies looking into testing differences between those with a verbal monologue and those without. It'd be interesting to see the different areas where each type of thinking shines, if there even is a statistical difference in any area.
I don't see photorealistic pictures on the backs of my eyelids or anything, I don't know if people can do that. For me it's sort of abstract, like a Picasso or caricature, or like looking at something out of the corner of your eyes. I am aware of the nature of the thing but I do not see a camera picture inside my head.
Very little "words", however, unless I'm actually talking aloud or writing.
Come to think of it, I wonder if this could have anything to do with why I always found "reading comprehension" tests curiously difficult & strangely capricious in school.