I took mushrooms once and only about a month after the trip did I realize I hadn’t been using an internal dialogue since the trip. It started up again and hasn’t really stopped since.
Yeah mushrooms will do this. It's not a bad thing to be able to quiet your mind. It's nice to have an internal monologue but once you've had that silence it's good to learn how to bring it back when you need it. Mushrooms helped show me what it was like quiet so I could do it myself without them.
exactly! I'm so tired of this ongoing voice in my head which is more like a constant noise that takes control of my emotions and disrupts my productivity.
There was a blog linked here some time ago where the author turned off his internal dialog and was able to observe his more automatic behavior. I recall trying it on my way to work and was fascinated. It was not like meditation, but I was still suspicious of the safety. This piece just reminds me that I need to try it again, but I dont recall how.
I cant find it, but it turns out I can still do it. As I recall, that author had described the experience as being animal-like. My approach:
Have no music on - following a melody feels similar to following speech to me.
Dont be around people who are talking. With practice you will be able to have them present and utterly ignore their words, so make sure they're not talking to you first.
Take a wide eyed look around your environment. Visually (or any way but verbally) imagine you are an animal (you are of course but one that doesnt speak). Look at objects purely visually and repress the urge to "name" them in your head.
If you find your inner dialog active dont "tell it" to stop, just focus on a the visual or other sensory experience.
I find when this works, some muscles spontaneously relax that hadn't noticed were tense. I'm not sure I'm getting as far as that blog I recall, but it really is interesting to observe things without that dialog. You can even perform tasks, unlike during meditation.
It was unnerving.