Here's what I would advise. Do not under any circumstances quit your job. I've lived through a similar scenario, and while I had a ton of savings, quitting my job resulted in chaos. Poor sleep schedule, dropping motivation, etc. I would get a therapist. Secondly, if your job is stressful, try and find another developer job at a large slow moving, mediocre paying corporation. Mostly recovering from burnout takes time, you just need to weather it out.
The biggest thing that fixed my burnout was actually getting laid off during the recession (09). And being unemployed for a few months. Fortunately this was in the summer, and I spend many days up at the camper (we had an already paid for seasonal spot about an hour away). I found myself sleeping so hard during the afternoons that I slept through several recruiters calling me back. Then when I finally landed a new job I hit the ground running so hard, that I was an instant hit.
Problem is, after more than a decade I find myself constantly tired and unmotivated for anything. I fear that burnout is starting again, but can't afford another break in employment (and this job is actually really good -- very intense, but I don't have that feeling of dread going into work every day [like I used to experience with high school], just exhausted).
> Problem is, after more than a decade I find myself constantly tired and unmotivated for anything. I fear that burnout is starting again...
That statement relates to a feeling I have about burnout - I don't believe you fully recover from it. At least in my experience, while I (and others I've discussed this with) recovered by some point, I also felt something was left permanently weakened, in a way that made me increasingly susceptible to later bouts I'd experience.
There are probably normal factors that contribute to that, such as how much we age between bouts. However, after each bout, I recall not feeling the same after recovering as I did prior to when the bout started.
This was how it was for me. I got burnt out coding a lot and studying for interviews (as I'm mostly self taught). I started going to therapy, but got fired after working under an awful manager that I didn't feel comfortable opening up to. Interviewing while unemployed pushed me further into burn out.
Coding originally pulled me out of a funk, it gave me something to work at. But now, I feel like I lost so much passion. I can't imagine coding in my free time even if I wasn't a developer anymore.
I used to code at home and read all sorts of books on various things like the Linux Kernel, just for fun. Now when I switch off after work, just the thought of looking at code makes me shudder.
The thing is, in a couple jobs I had there was negative tension, as if management or others in the organization were in a constant battle to find something wrong with you. Something that could get you fired or keep you down. So you had that sick feeling going into work, where you were constantly being gaslighted along with plenty of passive aggressiveness.
Whereas where I am now, I am well liked, people bend over backwards to support others, and everyone is working toward the same goal. It helps that the industry itself make a positive impact on people. The main feeling I get now, is similar to what I get whenever I finish a major project (including personal projects, such as designing and building a shed, creating a programming language, or designing a highly functional desk). It is a mental version of physical exhaustion you get after a strenuous activity.
So every day I end up with a bunch of small accomplishments, and periodically something major at work, which feels good. But I am also very tired. I get plenty of vacation days, but really need to make better use of them.
Maybe, but I think people underestimate the degree to which having a job keeps their lives in order. Self regulation in the sense of no job, daily schedule, and responsibilities when coupled with depression and burnout, is very difficult to navigate. Most people never spend long periods of time unemployed, we arent skilled for it. I also think that burnout can last a long time, longer than you can stay unemployed for. But I can see your point of view, I just think there's a risk.
Another thing to add is tenure on your resume matters, so if you are going through a tough period, and this person does end up getting fired in a year, they still have a two year stint. Much better than one year, people look at this stuff when they suspect the individual has had life difficulties.
I strongly, but politely, disagree because I took a year off and completely retooled my career. You must exercise, eat healthy, keep a schedule, and eliminate all distractions. Live somewhere cheap and focus on career and personal development. Don’t look for a job until 10 months of intense studying and development. Only do this if you are truly committed to changing the direction of your career. This was probably the best decision I’ve made in my career.
Thank you for this comment! I am actually in a similar situation right now, took a break from college and working on myself, learning about programming and trying hard to improve my english. Sometimes it just kinda feels pointless, like why am i even doing this and theres a plethora of self doubt and self hatred. But your comment kinda made me feel a bit more motivated, so thank you for that :)
Yup, same here. 10 years ago I left my job, threw away my crap, went off to Korea for a year to teach English. Brought some math and physics books I'd always wanted to understand, learned Korean, and bought a cheap bicycle and biked around southeast Asia after the year was over. After a few months of this I started hitting up old coworkers for job references, with the fallback of another English teaching stint (managed to find a new coding job). Some days were hard but I wouldn't give up that experience for anything.
Hesitate to recommend anything in this particular situation, but one thing I’ve noticed that works for me is: when going through a difficult time, try to maintain stability in other aspects of your life. So relationship breakup -> maintain job and location, for a few months at least, to allow myself to process the breakup without worrying about other things. YMMV.
Yeah exactly, getting stuff done at work, getting in at the same time every day, etc can be your life line. Multiple failing areas of your life is what really knocks people out, one is manageable.
I agree with this. What you likely need is time and space to reconnect with whatever brings you joy. Ability to put your personal life first. What you’re experiencing is probably normal. I was in my mid 30s when a string of tragedies/major bad life events happened and 40 now. Things normalized. Some good things started happening again. But it’s not something to solve, it’s something to learn to live with and that just takes time and emotional exploration. The friend making dynamic that happens in this phase of life doesn’t make it any easier. It can be hard but find a shoulder to lean on. For me, reconnecting with childhood best friends helped me reconnect with myself in a way.
Totally agree. Unless you have a lot of money already, having no income adds a new level of stress. The only way I could see this work is to go to a cheap place where money lasts longer. I once did this by staying at a yoga ashram. I could enjoy the time there because I had no expenses
If op is based in Toronto then going somewhere cheap might result in ending up in a spot where you don't know anyone, which would result in isolation. Probably not the best move?
I'm not sure I agree with this. If OP is able to catch up on the personal responsibilities they mention, and has the funds to be able to float for a while (admittedly a big one), taking a break might help them quite a bit. Could even boost up their personal brand a bit or make an LLC and do some consulting here and there to not have a resume gap and create their own hours.
Quitting something you don't like can be totally liberating and the time off can have a positive impact on mental health if used wisely.
