This is often touted as the solution to comment meanness (even here in HN's guidelines), but I think it's too simple to help. Politeness isn't inherent to real-world interaction: people are mean in face-to-face conversation too.
Of course there is some difference in face-to-face debate. Probably blatant, irrelevant personal attacks decrease, for example. But that is more because they are instant debate killers since the other person will likely just walk away. The more integrated meanness – hostility, caustic zingers, and the overall drive to embarrass your opponent – is definitely still present.
I think the issue isn't the separation between the two people debating: it's that other people are standing around watching. The publicness of comments is what leads to nasty behavior. Comment threads end up not being two people's search for truth, but their attempts to impress and gain audience support. It becomes a performance.
And I don't think people necessarily intend to do it – it's something you sorta fall into. You may realize you're sacrificing any chance to sway your opponents by being mean or embarrassing them, but the thought of a hundred other people admiring your ass-handing abilities or laughing at your stinging zinger can make the sacrifice seem worthwhile.
To help me be a better commenter I don't ask, "What would I say if this was face to face?" I ask, "What would I say if no one else could see this but the person I'm arguing with?"
I think the face-to-face rule is a bad one. Even PG in his Things You Can't Say concludes that you shouldn't say certain things to anyone but close friends, valuable though these ideas may be.
Of coure, that only applies face-to-face. If you are anonymous on the internet, as I am on this forum, you don't have to self-censor. And yet, I do it anyway, just because the spirit of conformity and self-censorship permeates this place so much. My comments were better on Reddit, when Reddit was still worth going to. And so were the comments of others.
Quality of the average comment is not what matters. It's the quality of the best comments that does. If you eliminate half of the top 5% and all of bottom 50% of comments, you've made the community worse.
When you have disputes on the internet a magic fairy takes you to meet the other person face to face. This supposedly resolves all animosity and things resume normal.
I think it's adorable how the karma points went up and down in this thread. Who are you people upvoting and downvoting, because I would really really like to meet you folks face to face.
Of course there is some difference in face-to-face debate. Probably blatant, irrelevant personal attacks decrease, for example. But that is more because they are instant debate killers since the other person will likely just walk away. The more integrated meanness – hostility, caustic zingers, and the overall drive to embarrass your opponent – is definitely still present.
I think the issue isn't the separation between the two people debating: it's that other people are standing around watching. The publicness of comments is what leads to nasty behavior. Comment threads end up not being two people's search for truth, but their attempts to impress and gain audience support. It becomes a performance.
And I don't think people necessarily intend to do it – it's something you sorta fall into. You may realize you're sacrificing any chance to sway your opponents by being mean or embarrassing them, but the thought of a hundred other people admiring your ass-handing abilities or laughing at your stinging zinger can make the sacrifice seem worthwhile.
To help me be a better commenter I don't ask, "What would I say if this was face to face?" I ask, "What would I say if no one else could see this but the person I'm arguing with?"