I am interested in programming and riding my mountainbike through the woods. While the latter is pretty dangerous and i really should find someone to do it together with - just for safety purposes - I have a hard time going somewhere where i could get to know people. And if I do, I usually keep myself from getting them to know any better than the usual 'hi, how are you?'
I used to do road biking, but I imagine the same will apply to mountainbiking. Find a group ride in your area and start going on it consistently. On the calm stretches there's plenty of chance to pull up alongside people and have a conversation. Push conversations beyond mountainbiking, learn about these people and teach them about yourself. When you find someone you like, who seems to also like you, invite them to hang out outside the group and take it from there.
The hard part is getting the first 1-3 friends to bootstrap your social network. Once you're at that point your friends will introduce you to others, and your network will blossom organically.
The woods is a great place to get to know people in my experience.
I don't drink--haven't been to a bar in literally years.
Getting past "Hi, how are you?" can be tough. It requires some vulnerability, which is scary. But which are you more scared of, telling someone about what's really going on with you, or continuing to live an isolated life?
I'm saying all this because I've been where you're at. It sucks and I wouldn't want anyone to have to live like that.
Ask your local bike shop if there are any group rides. That’s how I met a majority of my close friends. If there aren’t any group rides, ask if you can leave a flyer seeking new cycling partners.
Do you live in a major city? I'm shocked there aren't mountain biking clubs and a dozen programming social groups- pick your language and your cause (women programmers? teaching children to code? LGBTQ in tech? startups? Person of color? coding for social good? weekly hacknights?)
