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Reposting as it is on point.

“ Proximity, unplanned encounters and the privacy to confide with someone have been identified as key factors in making friends as an adult.[cite]”

Factors that make it difficult for Americans to make friends as they age:

1. Isolation driven by car culture.

2. Un-walkable communities outside cities.

3. Media driven self absorption vitiating real world interaction.

4. Political and social siloing as a result of #3.

“Bowling Alone” by Putnam was prescient by did not offer any realistic solutions.




I disagree with the first two factors, as a European. I live in a city where people walk and cycle a lot, but that does nothing for loneliness. No, seeing random strangers on the street is not a substitute for a meaningful relationships, and no, these random strangers you see do not make friends either.

Factor three is probably a major one in all countries where people are spending time staring at screens instead of interacting with each other.

Factor #4 doesn't really show up much in my corner of Europe.


I think this is where US culture and European culture differs a lot. For some reason, in US everyone needs to interact with anyone who stays longer than two seconds in close enough proximity. I am so thankful this is not a case in Europe (at least where I am) — for an introvert hating chit-chat it gets annoying really fast.


The solutions are to build mixed use, walkable communities. If you've ever been to Austin, Texas, check out the Muller development (for example).



I specifically go for long walks to have some quality time alone.




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