RTFM is always a valid response when you are dealing with a lazy, spoiled society that would rather just call tech support and bother somebody who is sitting on the other side shifting through a stack of manuals in from of them that comes with the product...
What surprises me are people who have the patience to wait for somebody else to tell them why their app broke, when it's much quicker dealing with problem just by going straight to the source. (pun intended)
Generally, I agree. However, we're discussing a highly customizable WM. Not GNOME or KDE. You may assume the user is technically adept, and able to read a man page. Telling them to do exactly that is fair (but I agree it can be said friendlier). Silence might be better, but it might also be worse if the reader is awaiting help.
I often ask "stupid" questions, but I do so after having searched the documentation, google and tried everything I could think of trying. Sometimes it really is in the manual and in my frustration I overlooked it. My point is that assuming the person is just lazy is, well, an assumption and may not be true. At least a friendly "its in the manual" tells me I just overlooked it, but an unfriendly RTFM just makes me think why did I even bother wasting my time struggling. I don't have problems with stuff for the fun of it.
Two days ago, I tried to get a vim plugin working. After trying the instructions over and over for about an hour and a half, I finally gave up and opened a ticket with a question that probably looks pretty lazy and dumb to someone experienced with it. Did I get an RTFM? No, it turns out there actually WAS a bug (actually, a bug and an undocumented setting). I almost didn't post out of fear of being called lazy or whatever and just give up on it, but it turns out there actually was a problem. They fixed it and I'm now a happy user and the positive experience makes me more likely to report future bugs, tell others about the tool or even contribute if I can. An "RTFM" would have driven me away forever.
> I often ask "stupid" questions, but I do so after having searched the documentation, google and tried everything I could think of trying.
Then when you ask, demonstrate that you've done so.
"Hey, how do I do X? I read through the docs, googled, and tried everything I could think of but I'm still stuck" is likely to get you a decent answer.
If you're going to ask someone working for free to give you free support, the least you can do is demonstrate that you've done your homework. The unfortunate reality is that many users do not do this and just want someone else to hand-hold them through everything.
I agree that it'd be nicer if developers would remove "RTFM" from their lexicon, and, even if it provides no more information, go for something politer, like, "the answer is in the manual; please read it". But people get tired, people get frustrated, people have a bad day. And some people might do it deliberately to push away users who they think will be an unproductive time-suck for them. As someone benefiting from someone else's free labor, you are entitled to nothing. Suck it up and do your best to show that you're not a leech and that you'll do your part to support yourself, only asking for help when you've exhausted the usual avenues.
I get it that it comes across as negative, but it is partly a choice. You could assume the person is just very busy. You could assume RTFM just means Read The Fine Manual.
What surprises me are people who have the patience to wait for somebody else to tell them why their app broke, when it's much quicker dealing with problem just by going straight to the source. (pun intended)