I think explaining it as just signalling is taking a too narrow view of it.
Having a diamond wedding ring is like having a turkey for thanksgiving. That's just the way it's done. It's a part of the culture, maybe you could even say there are religious elements to it.
To elaborate: The "tradition" of diamond engagement rings only dates back to the 1930s, invented almost whole cloth by the DeBeers cartel to sell diamonds. For that reason, I think saying it's a "part of the culture" overstates things. This is not a long tradition that connects us to our ancestors.
the average person has the birthday song sung at them every year, and sings it to friends family and co-workers multiple time per year, ideally you only give/receive a diamond ring once a lifetime.
Sure. But you see people giving diamonds all the time. It's a meme, a discussion topic, reinforced each time you hear the ladies on the train discuss their friend's new "gigantic finger rock".
Just cuz you yourself are making the purchase once doesn't mean it is in a thing much of the time.
Slightly off topic, but what are some traditions that connect us to our ancestors in modern western society? I honestly can’t think of any as a Kiwi living in Australia with a Scottish ancestry and that makes me a bit sad now that I think about it
Leatherworkers still use certain tools, today, that are precisely identical to those used 50,000 years ago. They were perfect for the job then, and still are.
Not working animal skins? You could if you wanted to.
1. Smashing a schooner glass at the pub and collectively yelling "Taxi" as a visceral response (this must have taken generations to embed).
2. Keeping mental tabs on which mate always ducks out before they buy the round and making up for it at a BBQ by grabbing a beer out of their Esky. Possibly leading to a fist fight at around 11:30PM and then making up at around 12:01AM.
3. "Sorry mate" as the default response when you're unable to grab the door for a stranger because you're a few CMs too far away.
Well, there's the long-standing tradition of Anglos exploring and settling the ends of the earth... as a Scot/Kiwi/Australian, in regard to this particular tradition, perhaps you can't see the forest for the trees! ;)
I kinda want to go spear hunting but it is illegal where I live. The only animal I can legally spear is a fish in my State an I would rather fish with a flyrod than spear.
> I'm certain gender reveal parties and baby showers are not in any culture's ancient traditions.
Well, you’re half right. Baby showers in various forms definitely are in many cultures ancient traditions. Gender reveal parties (at least pre-natal ones; there's some post-natal traditions that have some similarity), quite obviously, not.
Christianity is a big one, although that might not apply to you.
A lot of Western culture that goes back hundreds of years has its roots in either religion or the Enlightenment. Holidays, the scientific method, the individualist concept of humanism, capitalism.
Last names. The seven-day week. Learning European history in elementary school. The food you eat every day. Just a bunch of random stuff, really. Think of every way your culture differs from China or Cameroon.
"culture" doesnt mean prehistoric, since it could be seen as the collective activities of a particular time (ex 20th century pop culture. or another example is "canadian culture", which includes things like multiculturalism and universal healthcare. these things are much more recent than 1930!)
My wife is a practical, pragmatic person. But she wanted a diamond ring. She felt sheepish about wanting one.
The expense wasn't the appeal, and she's never been interested in signaling consumer goods otherwise like clothes, purses, fashion, jewelry, cars etc. If I had gotten a rarer, more expensive stone that was not a diamond, she would not have liked it as much. The cultural element of the diamond ring was a big part of the appeal.
Another one in a similar situation. My wife is also very practical and socially conscious. We looked into moissanite really seriously and almost bought a custom ring with it made by a local artist/metalsmith we were working with, and my wife was like "I don't know why but I just don't want this." She knew she wouldn't be happy and was trying to be honest. So we looked into other precious gems, other nontraditional minerals (because of hardness) and she kept coming back to diamonds. The synthetic market at the time wasn't very good, and secondhand was too risky in terms of provenance for her, so we ended up with a Canadian diamond.
I'd love to see the market change, to support more diversity in what's normative. But it is too late for us. My wife loves her ring but it was kind of a surprising reaction for her to deal with. She's said that if it were any other jewelry she'd be fine with something other than diamond. She also in retrospect wishes she had been accepting of moissanite. But it was what it was.
Having a diamond wedding ring is like having a turkey for thanksgiving. That's just the way it's done. It's a part of the culture, maybe you could even say there are religious elements to it.
And that was achieved through marketing.