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This.

The experience of women on dating sites is this: lots of messages from men that basically say (often exactly this): "Wanna fuck?" Like, that's the whole message. Except there's almost always multiple misspellings, no matter how short the message is. So it's more like "U wanna fuk?". And then those men go on their local message boards and complain that no one is responding to that pithy, well-crafted message and they can't find a spouse to settle down with and raise a family.

Put some effort into it. Wear a collared shirt. Brush your hair. Take a shower. Spellcheck. Find your smartest friend to help you make your profile. Don't pick things off your feet and eat them. Try to be funny.

It's really not that hard. Lots of humans have successfully mated with other humans. You can too!




The number of men in the US aged 18-30 reporting no sex in the previous year has almost tripled since 2010 [1]. It seems there are economic or cultural factors at play besides not well-crafting their messages or showering enough.

[1] https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-ame...


"It's really not that hard. Lots of humans have successfully mated with other humans. You can too!"

The overwhelming majority did so without the use of online dating. I think that speaks more to the quality of online dating than anything else.


It really is that hard though. There's plenty of men that follow all of your advice and receive hardly any matches.


If my reading is correct, the person who you responded to is a woman who has tried online dating. Even if it is not, that is probably a man who has tried online dating well and did well enough to be able to ask a woman he is dating/dated and shared what was told to them.

Your response is quite illustrative of reactions men have to observations on this topic the women make -- they do not like it. They especially do not like the implication: in this specific situation men just don't bring enough to the table to make them interesting enough for a woman to engage with.

Just look at @TinderNightmares. That is men's competition. That's what men are failing at exceeding. Let that sink in.


You seem to be confirming his viewpoint, if anything - the person is saying that some people are finding it difficult. Could be for any reason.


Mostly the reason is that the women don't find most men as passing their physical attractiveness threshold.


The instagram mentioned contains mostly messages. Most guys aren't even getting matches, so they are not being disqualified because of their messages.


Correct.

The images and the bio on a tinder profile has to so bad that women quite literally pick people whom women pretty much know will interact that way because even that is better than the alternatives.

You are on HN. There are hundreds of posts about negotiations and evaluation of available options. BATNA is thrown around in every one of them. I am baffled that people continue to pretend that it just does not magically apply to dating.

Your profile is your pitch deck. If no one wants to fund you, you should ask yourself if you need to change your pitch deck if you are convinced that your idea has a merit. Or maybe you can follow the HN startup advice and pivot to something else.

If doing the same thing over and over again does not achieve the desired result, one is ought to adjust approach.




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