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Things Real People Don't Say About Advertising (tpdsaa.tumblr.com)
300 points by Byliner on Jan 14, 2011 | hide | past | favorite | 57 comments



You could just as easily make a blog "Things Real People Don't Say About Your App"

"I like the functionality, but it doesn't follow best practices."

or "Things Real People Don't Say About Science"

"These findings are compelling, but I'd like to see some corroborating studies in peer reviewed journals".

Any consumer facing industry is going to have a world of jargon that is inaccessible or ridiculous to the layperson. And similarly, these industries can support those who want to participate but don't have anything to add.

I don't see this as a jab at advertsising (although, it very well may have been intended as such) I see it as a jab at wannabes.

If you still don't believe me, try reading tech job postings...

[edit: typo]


But you couldn't put those sayings on stock photos and have it work so well.

This blog works because the "fakeness" of the stock people nicely parallels the ridiculousness of the slogan to create a satirical meta-advertisement... about advertisers.

Unless you make satirical apps for app developers, or satirical science papers about scientists, you're not duplicating the irony of this blog.


Actually, I like the idea for "Things Real People Don't Say About Your App":

"Clearly this app is unusable because it doesn't follow HIG"

"This minimum viable product just isn't minimal enough"

"This site works with just me on it, but I don't think it will scale to millions of users"


"I love the way the columns are too narrow for the text"

"No it's OK, do something irrelevant - I'm happy to wait"

"Sure, I'd love to join your community so I can be notified of updates and future releases - I don't get much email and would love to hear from you."

"I really enjoy the way all your driver downloads have random numbers for filenames, HP"


"These findings are compelling, but I'd like to see some corroborating studies in peer reviewed journals"

Uhh, I say exactly that on a monthly, if not weekly, basis.


Same, lol. Everytime I see an article on HN, Reddit, or elsewhere saying 'Study shows... [fill in the blank]', I think that.

The MSM doesn't seem to grok that if a single, non-corroborated 'study' shows something, it's effectively noise, not news.


Interesting. But I disagree with a number of them.

> I love the copy, but it feels off brand ...

I remember the first time I saw a McPizza ad. It talked about how if you didn't like one kind, then you could get a different one. And it felt really strange.

Later I figured it out. Until then, McDonald's ads had always maintained the premise that everyone likes everything they sell.

> If only this solution was more scalable...

I am constantly annoyed at the idea that "scalable" is a meaningless word. Nonsense, it is a precise, well-defined, and useful term. True, it does get misused by marketing people. But the fact is that anyone who is purchasing a large system of any sort, if they know what they're doing, will have some concern for scalability.

> Finally, a place for me to share MY story!

Isn't this a huge reason for people going to blogging platforms?

On the other hand:

> This website's music is great - turn it up!

Definitely. No one has ever said that, ever, in the history of the web.


> Isn't this a huge reason for people going to blogging platforms?

Yes, but that's not what it's lampooning. TONS of ads and websites invite people to "share their story" or try to take advantage of user generated content. It's a cheesy cop out. No one wants to share their Doritos story on the Doritos website.


Correction: You wish no one wanted to share their Doritos story on the Doritos website. The sad part is that many times people do.


Perhaps that's a missing stock photo: "I would share my story, but I'm just not incentivized enough."


> Definitely. No one has ever said that, ever, in the history of the web.

Unless the site was specifically about that music.


> This website's music is great - turn it up!

Definitely. No one has ever said that, ever, in the history of the web.

Never say never. It depends on the type of a site e.g., http://www.thesixtyone.com/


Agreed with the last point.

MySpace learned this the hard way.


>> This website's music is great - turn it up! > Definitely. No one has ever said that, ever, in the history of the web.

Only if it's Freedom Rock, man!


Actually, I said that about the Land of Lisp site.


I don't think that advertisers want consumers to consciously think these things.

Relevant:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYEf8XZKlUU


I agree with OP, here. This site had the guys at my agency rolling, but it's so funny because it's true. No one in my office thinks real people talk like this.

We know that when my aunt Kay visits a website and thinks it feels cheap or just doesn't hang together or seems like it's not safe to give my credit card to; it's because they used tired stock photography and their web copy is in three different voices, or that their copy leading and margins are inconsistent, or that they have no design language or brand focus.

Real people don't pick it apart like that because they don't care, don't have the talent to do so, won't acquire the skill to do so or a mix of all three. However, WE do think like this. And the fact that most people don't think like this is why all six of us still have jobs after five years.

Also relevant: http://wademeredith.com/2010/12/your-customers-care-about-de...


the point is not whether advertising is effective, what i see here is laying bare the subtext juxtaposed and letting the reader draw their own conclusion.

the picture isn't pretty, unless, that is, Commerce is your middle name.


That was a clever vid... "You CANT HANDLE a bigger logo!" excellent :)


In the real world, people hate advertising.

This is why as an app developer I am deeply sceptical about Google's model. Okay, so the consumer saves a buck, but then you chip away at their goodwill every time you show an ad. And note, when you're showing an ad, to make it effective you have to make it intrusive, you either have to lock them out of the free functionality for a while or you need to make it eye-catching.

I don't know anyone that said "I'm so glad Google bought Youtube and plastered ads all over the videos".

People hate advertising so much they will go out of their way to avoid it.

In economic terms, as an app developer the way I see it is that free+ads is really just burning up my user's good will to enrich Google. The more I annoy my customers like this, the less likely they are to recommend my app. To the extent that it is less than a zero-sum game... it's not just an even 50:50 trade-off between for pay and ad-supported.


The right kind of advertising is pretty awesome, because it provides value for me. Right now, Stack Overflow and Amazon have the best ads out there, IMO. SO took a while to get decent ads too.

I watched some stuff on Hulu the other day. Fancy cars, teeth whitening commercials, drugs I don't ever anticipate using, and other useless stuff to me was marketed at me. That's just not a good ad model I think. I would love to see some really new and interesting products - not Another Car|Soda|Beer commercial.


TechCrunch had a good guest article arguing that Hulu's poor targeting is intentional: http://techcrunch.com/2010/11/08/hulu-opec/ Hulu has enough information on its users to target ads very narrowly, but since it's run by a conglomerate of media companies, it intentionally does not do this in order to avoid competing with traditional (untargeted but highly profitable) television advertising.


This is a mix of half-amusing misconceptions -- "Of course I'll spend eight minutes of my life watching your branded content" -- and details that advertisers should care about -- "I love the copy, but it feels off brand". Most of the pictures fall into the latter, and are very "inside baseball". Why would you expect "real people" to talk like that, or chastise advertisers for doing so? People who buy from Amazon don't care how many servers Amazon has allocated to recommend products to them, but Amazon engineers certainly care. People searching Google don't care about the inner workings of how MapReduce distributes the work over multiple servers.

This website feels like a bunch of immature complaints and useless mockery.


I think you're taking it way too seriously. The author clearly has a good grasp of advertising and why the statements being lampooned are necessary. Humor doesn't have to be derisive.


Mockery, perhaps, but not entirely useless, since it helps prick the myopia that's a persistent danger in any business which uses lots of jargon to discuss the ideal forms of execution.

Believe it or not, there are a number of exceedingly self-absorbed people in advertising. These are folks who actually do assume that clients and audiences take advertising's technical aspects as seriously as they do, and start thinking that they can use their client's money to communicate on this level when, in fact, they can't. What's worse is that they can get heated in meetings when more grounded people try to tell them otherwise. Circulating stuff like this is a fine way to rein them in gently.

I'm sure variations on this send-up are possible in any business that evaluates its own work according to generally obscure measures. It's just especially funny here, since it also uses stock-photography so well, which is a product of the same business, and a separate source of endless eye-rolling from people who have to work with it.


A big part of a marketer's job is projecting oneself into the role of a consumer. Jargon can become a distraction from understanding your audience, and this site is a healthy reminder of that.


Maybe not, but those things may still wield pretty heavy influence. Advertising is a strange world of subconscious desires and difficult-to-rationalize preferences (colors and shapes of buttons, for example).


The captions are hyperbolic and quite funny, but perhaps funnier is the fact that our unconscious brains do have these kinds of reactions (though muted, of course).

From an article I read the other day:

"The cognitive revolution of the past thirty years provides a different perspective on our lives, one that emphasizes the relative importance of emotion over pure reason, social connections over individual choice, moral intuition over abstract logic, perceptiveness over I.Q."

- http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/01/17/110117fa_fact_...


The best ones work because they use great stock photography where the shots convey a clear message: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lexcpscLrw1qziezc.jpg



Even better: http://tpdsaa.tumblr.com/post/2731266235/submitted-by-adamle...

That silly call center woman that's on millions of websites.



I love the 17 star 'Perceived Helpfulness' scale.


Marketing people say the darndest things.

It reminds me to this youtube video somebody posted recently on Twitter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRDhx8Lo37E It's totally viral!

No, I'm not related to the video or whoever made it.


In case you're wondering -- yes, the non-real people in the ad world say this shit -- all. the. time. And without irony.


"This website's music is great, turn it up!" - LMAO!

The funniest part is that most of this stuff actually works: on message copy, brand structure (http://bit.ly/fmyD7T), the word "solution" has sold hardware for 3 decades, buzzwords like "social currency" causing enough confusion to get your attention, focusing on intent increasing conversions/revenue, font size increasing conversions, branded apps (REI ski report, Oakley surf report), website users love introspection, stock photos increasing conversion, focusing on benefits (value prop).



If anyone wants to see an incredible look into how Sigmund Freud's research was turned around to manipulate people into consuming more, then Adam Curtis' excellent The Century of The Self is available to watch here: http://thoughtmaybe.com/video/the-century-of-the-self

If you've never seen an Adam Curtis documentary before, this is a good one to start with. His style and delivery is unique among documentary filmmakers and is definitely worth a watch.


It's incredible to me that Sigmund Freud's research was turned around to actually accomplish anything--the guy was a pseudoscientific hack who did virtually everything wrong. (It wouldn't, however, surprise me that it was attempted.)


You can also buy Edward Bernays books Propaganda and Crystallizing Public Opinion for a very fair price on Amazon, though Propaganda at least isn't so great.


Also, a book written by Vance Packard at the height of 1950s advertising called "The Hidden Persuaders", if you can find a copy. All about 'motivational research' and how subconscious cues can be used to sell and persuade. Very interesting -- for example, how some customers liked extremely-strong-smelling soap because it provided them with the same type of 'defense' in a socially-accepted way that B.O. did.



[deleted]


I work at an interactive agency and none of your experiences hold true for me. It might be time to upgrade your employer.


> I wonder if my user experience is living up to their intentions

I think this a lot, actually.

> Hooray, we fall into the correct segment

If segment means target demographic, then I think this a lot too.


> I think this a lot, actually.

By "real people" they mean "people who don't read HN".


I don't think the post was intended to say that advertisers actually think that people talk or even think this way, I think the post was to point out that often, marketers will have a certain perspective on their product and try to force that perspective onto its users. The reality is, users don't care about your perspective. They only care whether or not the product meets their needs.


Ha! If that was the case, 95% of products in industrialized countries wouldn't exist.

Good advertising and branding works -- they generate demand.


I thought the music on pinkberry's website was pretty cool: http://www.pinkberry.com/


Let's just go ahead and coin the term "lol ads".


Ad fail.

In all seriousness though, humor used well for the right type of product is extremely effective. I can no longer find the source, but I read somewhere that the Old Spice Body Wash sales went up close to 100% when the Old Spice Guy commercials were running. My wife even bought some for me the next she went shopping after she saw the ad. She said it was just to reward them for the ad itself, then she decided she liked how it smelled and kept buying it for me, all because the ad was funny.


Old Spice Guy was a pretty striking ad series. I don't know that it resonated with me, but it sure is memorable!


This is by the same guy as Never Said About Restaurant Websites: http://neversaidaboutrestaurantwebsites.tumblr.com/


On a similar note: http://thehairpin.com/2011/01/women-laughing-alone-with-sala...

"Women Laughing Alone With Salad"


The address http://tpdsaa.tumblr.com/ makes me think the blog was originally missing the baiting 'Real' adjective.


The use of common stock photography just makes it even better lol


where's the call to action?! I can't find the fucking call to action!


They wouldn't say it those terms, but they might very well think it or say it in other terms. You wouldn't say, "Holy shit! This call to action button is better" but you might want to click it more.




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