At some point your family is not so much the people you were born to or grew up with, but the people you've chosen to be with, build a live together... Also, if I had to guess, no one has ever looked back on their life and said 'I wish I had spent more time being deliberately obtuse on the Internet' either.
>At some point your family is not so much the people you were born to or grew up with, but the people you've chosen to be with, build a live together...
Point still holds though. Your "made" family (marriage, heck, even kids) might turn up not to be all that great either. Happens to millions...
>Also, if I had to guess, no one has ever looked back on their life and said 'I wish I had spent more time being deliberately obtuse on the Internet' either.
Those are people who die with regrets though, so perhaps not the best people to listen to what to do not to have regrets! Their "I should have actually done that instead" deathbed choice might be equally bad as the original choice they made...
I think they meant the people that become your real family. It doesn’t have to be marriage. It can be a select of friends where a strong bond has formed.
If we're talking about a wife and kids, or blood-is-thicker-than-water style friendships, or just people you dearly love, then I couldn't imagine somebody saying they wish they spent less time.
If we're talking about parents and siblings and relatives—the family you inherit at birth—then yeah, I can totally see where you're coming from. Same with the other less happy scenarios that I don't think are helpful to go into in a topic like this.
But essentially, family means different things to different people, especially when we're talking about it in the positive sense.
Which is also why I found the OP's article about his son really upsetting, because from that point of view, I've lost people I love and wished that I spent more time with them when I had the chance, or did more of what they wanted.
It makes the loss feel so much deeper when you start playing back history and noticing the times you weren't present... and now that you want to be present it's too late for them. All you can do is take that with you and make sure those loved one you still have can enjoy that from you.
Not everyone has a family worth being with.