Whoa there! I'd consider it a mark of wisdom to judge and filter society's expectations rather than absorbing them uncritically. Perhaps not let it shape us unless we consciously allow it to?
You and the grandparent aren't necessarily in opposition. It's fair to say that we are all influenced by our culture. We are aware of some things and may not be aware of other things. There are some things I reject and there are others that I just go with. There are even things that I like despite those things are just "how it is".
I guess the ring with a gemstone fight was a fight I didn't find necessary to fight over, especially since my fiancee was ok with a lab-grown gem. My fiancee and I sort of just met halfway (actually I paid only a fraction of what I would have been traditionally expected to pay). She wasn't too keen on a huge and expensive ring but I think she would have felt bad if people around her judged her negatively if she didn't have one. We all pick our battles and if I got most of what I wanted, I don't see a need to fight it all the way. It wasn't worth the energy to me and for her to fight it completely.
