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Why do people always assume that being impressive and having a life are mutually exclusive? I kind of consider myself something of a winner (top school, top job, blah blah blah), and I've certainly busted my ass to get here, but I've also had a lot of beers, seen movies, dated girls, played [American] football, etc.

At the end of the day, I'm unconvinced that you can be a "winner" without doing all of it. I'm not completely convinced that the author is the huge virginal dork you made him out to be, but if it makes you feel better about your inner winner, more power to you, I guess.




I found the "bragging" interesting, because I scored higher than him on the SATs with zero test prep, and made All-State orchestra despite having quit violin lessons three years before and barely practiced in the last year.

We all have things that we're good at. Mine just happened to be the stuff that looks great on a college app at age 19.

Luck has a way of balancing itself out, though. I struggled mightily at fitting in with peers when I was in school, and I've struggled hard to do high-quality original creative work since. Haven't quite gotten the hang of either, while meanwhile there're people who create world-changing products like FaceBook and GMail and Google Maps within a couple years of getting out of college.


> "Why do people always assume that being impressive and having a life are mutually exclusive?"

They're not. But they are IMHO highly correlated - I feel like I was a good example of it in high school and the first bit of college. Textbook Asian academic overachiever, below-average social skills, and little of my life that others might consider interesting besides my unrelenting ability to code. It took a lot of work to leave that version of me behind, and much of that came from sacrificing academic performance. Absolutely no regrets about that.

That said, I think wazoox was out of line extrapolating the author's life like that. We simply don't know enough about the guy to make a judgment in one way or another.

Besides, doesn't his own point about finding your inner winner involve not caring about alleged overachievers?


I think it's because people who "have a life" (i.e. are down-to-earth people who get along with everyone and have lots of friends, etc) don't care about being impressive. I mean, do you like being friends with or even being around people whose lives are motivated by the need to impress you? I doubt it.

Seems like a lot of people on this thread don't understand that to really feel like (and as far as I am concerned, be) a winner, you need to stop looking for external validation. Constantly allowing yourself to seek it out or fantasize about it is just building a habit of feeling unfulfilled and insecure.


> I'm not completely convinced that the author is the huge virginal dork you made him out to be ...

I don't think he's such a dork, just joking, ... FTW ? All of this sounds so young, and that's OK. I attained some "achievements" myself at times but it feels so vain in the end, 10 or 15 years later. I even remember that funny hormonal boost called pride, but now I'm looking down at my former self, I can't even long for this anymore. Maybe I'm just getting old.




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