HOA's are, quite literally, not government. They're an association of home owners.
They sometimes act like government, but are still very limited in scope and power. And a good HOA or condo association (there are some) is even better than a government.
They are not The Government, but they govern various areas relating to the homes and lifes of the people living under them. Since they govern, they are a government. Being limited in scope and power is irrelevant, unless you try to also claim US states don't have a government.
Not entirely related but illustrating the point: an HOA is surprisingly similar to a local government: they approve or deny building requests, compel property owners to pay a share of common expenses (in other contexts called taxes), issue fines for violating "laws", hold elections, etc.
Of course they are government. If you don't pay their fee, they can evict you. They are the only agency able to do this, despite having no lien on the house. That makes them a government, whether you like it or not
And that's why I wrote that they act like a government. But unlike a government, you can move away from the HOA's project and not be under its thumb. To escape government, you have to buy a ship and anchor it in the middle of the ocean.
So the government of California is not a government because you can move to Nevada? Have you thought about what you're claiming? Is the government of London not a government because you can move to Birmingham?
Governments are associations of citizens --- well, at least the ones that aren't despotic. HOAs are, well, private governments. That might seem like a contradiction in terms, but it really isn't.
What makes one of them private and the other one isn't? Aren't all governments just the way we organize ourselves in groups and give power to the group?
I have spent some time living in one of these tall thin Chinese towers. They have benefits that are not at apparent at first glance. Since they are thin every room can have a window and they have good airflow. Since they are high density public transport can be very close, and catching a taxi is easy.
Also, if someone 15 floors below or above you is using a jackhammer, your day is screwed. Or, if there's a child who is bouncing a ball against the wall in some appartment. The noises travel pretty well across the structure, that's why I prefer to live in a building which has as few units within a single structure as possible. Mine curently has 25, which is livable, previous one was over a hundred and was much worse in this regard.
Everything is the result of government policy. Even if the government did absolutely nothing, it would be the result of a government policy not to intervene.
Having seem them in person in China, they very much resembled bloc houses. 3x3 pr 4x4 squares of identical apartment buildings, and it seemed like there were miles and miles of these
This is very classist. Everybody should have the opportunity of living in a big city, especially given that that's where the jobs are (and it's only going to get worse every year).