Well, actually, it's not up to us to decide whether it is or it isn't.
Bullshit. Who, other than me, should have the right to decide if my statement is too offensive to be spoken? It is absolutely up to the individual to decide if someone else's offense at your statements or opinions is due to oversensitivity or you being wrong. Who else should decide, if not the individual with the opinion in question?
Ok, first of all, I'm not trying to censor you -- I just want that to be clear. So, it's not a question of whether anything you say is "too offensive to be spoken". That was your interpretation -- not mine.
Second, I don't believe that we can or should always avoid offending others -- we don't have a right to never be offended.
What I am specifically focusing on is this attitude that "you shouldn't be offended" is conventionally used to defend the status-quo, by people who are not disadvantaged under the status-quo.
This impedes reasonable discussion and learning. Obviously if I don't have a problem with X, I don't have a problem with X. The people who do have a problem with X seem kind of weird.
The only way we can reasonably start to figure out whether or not X is a problem is by listening honestly to a bunch of people affected by X. As people unaffected by X our opinion simply doesn't count as much -- until we've made a geniune effort to understand, rather than just dismissing.
I think the rational argument is; if you are finding offense in an innocent phrase that was not intended (or even considered as) to imply a sexist attitude then you are a part of the problem you are observing.
If someone said this to belittle or discriminate; that should generate an outcry. Sadly; it does not because examples like this get the same treatment.
So, no, you probably shouldn't be offended by examples such as this. If you do; rational people will try to help by suggesting you are being over sensitive in an attempt to avoid future misunderstandings on your part.
(I'd also point out that suggesting intent in an utterly innocent phrase is not just over sensitive but outright rude to the person writing it)
Disclaimer: Let me point out that I've entered what my wife calls "grad student mode". I'm continuing to argue this point out of proportion to how much it concerns me because I see what I believe is a flaw in your argument that you are failing to acknowledge or apparently unaware of. I want to debug your argument.
Okay, the crux here is this term "innocent phrase". By describing it as such, you're presupposing that which you're trying to prove.
A deeper analysis would be to ask "what evidence could convince me that this thing I consider innocent is actually not innocent, but a symptom of a systematic problem?"
Following from that -- if there is this thing that is hidden from me -- because I think it's nothing, what practices would tend to reveal these kinds of things, and what practices would tend to keep them hidden? Am I doing things that would tend to keep it hidden?
The broader issue is that irrational discrimination does not require ill intent, only a lack of understanding. People generally don't try to be assholes -- and yet they still will be unless they question the status quo.
Is there a systematic problem? The answer to that question is complex; and the solution is not here. In fact; it is persisting the problem.
You actually see the solution in one of your other posts. The woman who uses the phrase "nigger brown". Such things are simply not an issue for this generation. It will not take many generations before people forget what racism was. People may tell you there is a systemic racist attitude in the society - but try going back 50 years. There wasn't a load of overt racism, but the systemic problem was apparent and troublesome. The improvement is dramatic.
In the next generations there is unlikely to be a gender issue; we are just in a transition where gender differences previously not considered an issue are a problem. It's not a fast process; but it is kicked off. And we are approaching the end game. A point where it is crucial to be less sensitive about specific words and actively reject true sexism.
In the short term the best solution is to avoid taking personal offence at things that mean or have no offence. It's unavoidable that people will be over sensitive; that is a systemic problem too. But we can work on that also. And by applying common sense the real sexist will become irrelevant.
Does the wording of the title imply a possibly underlying sexist attitude in the company? Not in the slightest (especially given the context). Suggesting it does is recreating a problem we are fixing. :)
I apologise for going on about it; but this is an issue that strongly concerns me. I'll leave it for now; wrong forum :)
Bullshit. Who, other than me, should have the right to decide if my statement is too offensive to be spoken? It is absolutely up to the individual to decide if someone else's offense at your statements or opinions is due to oversensitivity or you being wrong. Who else should decide, if not the individual with the opinion in question?