I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. These things can be difficult and not every tool works for everyone. Keeping one's mind in balance and on track can be a lot of work. I don't know who James Fadiman is and I can't speak to the science involved, but from what I've seen in the experiences of people around me who have had mental health struggles, a mild form of mania can be a really useful state of mind for getting lots of work done. Mania becomes a problem when people get so wrapped up in the storm of thoughts that they can no longer communicate effectively with the people around them, but as long as people stay grounded and keep some empathy open, being in a state of mind where you feel full of energy and connected to the big picture really helps in motivating yourself toward productive action. Nothing lasts forever, people need space and time to rest and recharge, but nudging yourself a bit in that direction isn't necessarily harmful if you have some work to do.
