It's an illustration by absurdity that your thoughts are limiting you and making you unhappy, and that there are other ways to think which are still compatible with being a good person and a moral person.
For as long as you hold in your head the belief that your refusal is what hurts people then you are going to be unhappy about being asked questions.
If instead you held the belief that their expectations and demands in their head is what hurts them, then you would be free to accept or refuse politely and in good conscience, and still be able to be a person who "considers how he affects others".
The fact that you cannot consider saying no is what makes a joke out of your comment "I don't want to be a person who doesn't care about his effect on others". At the moment you are forced to accept regardless of whether you care or not. Caring doesn't come into it, they ask and you force yourself to accept, you don't get to choose or consider.
If you didn't force yourself to accept because you were no longer afraid that it was you hurting them, then you would be free to consider their request unpressured and respond however you felt like at the time, but still respond based on your morals and so on.
At the moment you say you are someone who cares, but you act in a way that you ignore your consideration and decisions and marginalise your caring making it subservient to a fixed instruction. You say you don't want to be someone who doesn't care, but changing that part of you would free you up to be someone who can care and isn't forced to act one way or the other.
For as long as you hold in your head the belief that your refusal is what hurts people then you are going to be unhappy about being asked questions.
If instead you held the belief that their expectations and demands in their head is what hurts them, then you would be free to accept or refuse politely and in good conscience, and still be able to be a person who "considers how he affects others".
The fact that you cannot consider saying no is what makes a joke out of your comment "I don't want to be a person who doesn't care about his effect on others". At the moment you are forced to accept regardless of whether you care or not. Caring doesn't come into it, they ask and you force yourself to accept, you don't get to choose or consider.
If you didn't force yourself to accept because you were no longer afraid that it was you hurting them, then you would be free to consider their request unpressured and respond however you felt like at the time, but still respond based on your morals and so on.
At the moment you say you are someone who cares, but you act in a way that you ignore your consideration and decisions and marginalise your caring making it subservient to a fixed instruction. You say you don't want to be someone who doesn't care, but changing that part of you would free you up to be someone who can care and isn't forced to act one way or the other.