Given that 'disappeared' is a euphemism for 'killed and disposed of', that depends on how much worse it is given in the end you still cease to exist on the most meaningful level.
Put another way, is it better if they feed you an exceptional mean before they kill you?
In the end, focusing on the how's instead of the why and the concrete fact they did is just a way for others to to manipulate people into feeling one way or another (or more of either) instead of just taking the hard line that it's unacceptable in any and every form.
Edit: to be clear, I'm not accusing you of manipulating people, just stating that it's just a common tactic in general.
Put another way, is it better if they feed you an exceptional mean before they kill you?
In the end, focusing on the how's instead of the why and the concrete fact they did is just a way for others to to manipulate people into feeling one way or another (or more of either) instead of just taking the hard line that it's unacceptable in any and every form.
Edit: to be clear, I'm not accusing you of manipulating people, just stating that it's just a common tactic in general.