On the one hand, you could use some new skills managing perceptions at the office -- to move up significantly in the programming profession, you're going to have to lead people down the path of understanding both how valuable you are, and also how difficult what you do is.
Many engineers aren't good at this.
But, I echo almost everyone here who thinks you're in a toxic situation -- you should get out; so much of your perception of what's normal and reasonable in a work situation is being formed in your horrible, horrible one that it's hard to keep your head straight. Nothing is likely to fix this for you, and getting some new job skills to allow you to keep working in this place isn't a good option for your emotional health.
A low risk situation for you would be to find some contracting work, then give notice, given what you've said, I'd suggest you give notice first to the boss's dad, explaining the situation. If you can't do that in person, at least write a polite note explaining:
I like you guys, but the market is offering quadruple your pay rates right now, and the work environment is not enticing enough to make me want to stay. Best regards, blah. Do this to minimize badmouthing effects by your now-jilted boss; it won't solve everything, but it's worth going over his head in a situation like this. Don't knock him, just explain that you can make X and Y with double the vacation, better benefits, and etc. etc. elsewhere.
After notice is given, and you've started at least one other gig (<<<<---- Important to build confidence and reset 'normal' in your head), accept contracting work they offer you with the following rules: at least triple, no, make that quadruple your current hourly rates, and you choose the location, that is, you come in for meetings and delivery, and do the rest from wherever you like.
In situations like this, it's not unlikely you'd get a call when you leave -- they sound seriously unappreciative of the work you're punching out, and hopefully the market will teach them that in short order on your leavetaking.
In any event, leave as fast as you can -- you might be surprised how differently you feel about yourself and the world once you've made the jump.
Many engineers aren't good at this.
But, I echo almost everyone here who thinks you're in a toxic situation -- you should get out; so much of your perception of what's normal and reasonable in a work situation is being formed in your horrible, horrible one that it's hard to keep your head straight. Nothing is likely to fix this for you, and getting some new job skills to allow you to keep working in this place isn't a good option for your emotional health.
A low risk situation for you would be to find some contracting work, then give notice, given what you've said, I'd suggest you give notice first to the boss's dad, explaining the situation. If you can't do that in person, at least write a polite note explaining:
I like you guys, but the market is offering quadruple your pay rates right now, and the work environment is not enticing enough to make me want to stay. Best regards, blah. Do this to minimize badmouthing effects by your now-jilted boss; it won't solve everything, but it's worth going over his head in a situation like this. Don't knock him, just explain that you can make X and Y with double the vacation, better benefits, and etc. etc. elsewhere.
After notice is given, and you've started at least one other gig (<<<<---- Important to build confidence and reset 'normal' in your head), accept contracting work they offer you with the following rules: at least triple, no, make that quadruple your current hourly rates, and you choose the location, that is, you come in for meetings and delivery, and do the rest from wherever you like.
In situations like this, it's not unlikely you'd get a call when you leave -- they sound seriously unappreciative of the work you're punching out, and hopefully the market will teach them that in short order on your leavetaking.
In any event, leave as fast as you can -- you might be surprised how differently you feel about yourself and the world once you've made the jump.