> People who criticize tone police are technically right that the content of an argument is what should matter, but that smacks of ignorance of how humans engage in conversation.
Absolutely nailed it. If you're unpleasant/uncivilised to deal with then the content of your argument becomes irrelevant because a decent portion - and perhaps even the majority - of people won't want to have anything to do with you.
Being obnoxious is another class of communication where good content is masked by bad delivery, the same as if you fail to communicate and explain your point clearly: again, the message gets lost. People switch off and disengage.
Good manners really do oil the wheels of communication on difficult and contentious topics even if it means the process takes longer than you'd like.
It also depends hugely on context. A well placed "you might have a point but you're acting like a dick" might bring a discussion back into civility, but then you also get people trying to shut down a discussion that they find uncomfortable by focusing exclusively on criticizing incidental word or phrase choice.
Absolutely nailed it. If you're unpleasant/uncivilised to deal with then the content of your argument becomes irrelevant because a decent portion - and perhaps even the majority - of people won't want to have anything to do with you.
Being obnoxious is another class of communication where good content is masked by bad delivery, the same as if you fail to communicate and explain your point clearly: again, the message gets lost. People switch off and disengage.
Good manners really do oil the wheels of communication on difficult and contentious topics even if it means the process takes longer than you'd like.