This is exactly why I started this group though, to try to avoid this. I try to avoid this with a few tactics:
1. Every social event for developers or nerds like me has been awkward as hell. No one wants to stand in the corner with a beer avoiding people, or shouting over loud ass music. The lunch format has helped avoid that. I've really found that breaking bread and sitting down with food in front of you makes a big difference in the social interactions and the people that feel comfortable coming. You end up making high value connections with the 1-2 people sitting next to you.
2. Local captains are engineering leaders themselves, and they hand curate the group, and kick people out if they're being all sales-y. I curate the Boulder lunch, and it's all engineering leaders facing the same problems. No one except engineering leaders are allowed to come. The only exception to that is our first sponsor, name.com, who sends their 1 community outreach person to eat lunch, chit chat (not a pitch to the whole group), and picks up the tab at the Boulder lunch.
3. The email list provides so much additional value to the group, and because it's email (as opposed to group chat), people love writing long responses and participating over time (sometimes hours, days, or weeks after the last email in the thread has been sent), not just participating in the fleeting moment of a group chat discussion.
Would love to join but the challenge being that I'm north of UK - would love to connect with CTOs outside of the UK to get a pulse of things around the world.
This is exactly why I started this group though, to try to avoid this. I try to avoid this with a few tactics:
1. Every social event for developers or nerds like me has been awkward as hell. No one wants to stand in the corner with a beer avoiding people, or shouting over loud ass music. The lunch format has helped avoid that. I've really found that breaking bread and sitting down with food in front of you makes a big difference in the social interactions and the people that feel comfortable coming. You end up making high value connections with the 1-2 people sitting next to you.
2. Local captains are engineering leaders themselves, and they hand curate the group, and kick people out if they're being all sales-y. I curate the Boulder lunch, and it's all engineering leaders facing the same problems. No one except engineering leaders are allowed to come. The only exception to that is our first sponsor, name.com, who sends their 1 community outreach person to eat lunch, chit chat (not a pitch to the whole group), and picks up the tab at the Boulder lunch.
3. The email list provides so much additional value to the group, and because it's email (as opposed to group chat), people love writing long responses and participating over time (sometimes hours, days, or weeks after the last email in the thread has been sent), not just participating in the fleeting moment of a group chat discussion.