There’s one more state — a new kind of “alone connectedness” that most people seem to prefer, which has been fostered and magnified by the Internet and social platforms (I include HN as one of those).
Without even communicating with others, even if there are known people in physical proximity, many people feel connected just by being “lurkers” in their favorite corners of the Internet. This is not like passive watching of (live) TV, but is a bit more of a controlled and conscious exercise. So connectedness (as an oppposite of loneliness) is not just about actively interacting with others, but being in a place where relatable people exist. The same applies to outings too. Just being anywhere where other people seem to be is enough to feel it.
Your comment has inspired me to create an account, which I will likely not log in to again, simply to agree with you anecdotally in regards to the feeling of inter-connectedness experienced by lurkers.
I feel like I know many of you common posters, though you may never have known I existed up until reading this comment.
I had never really noticed or explored this phenomenon until you had mentioned it above.
When I was single and lived in London, I used to love walking through the city during the evening and into the night, being surrounded by people but not having to take part in any socialising. It's the flipside to the pleasure of being entirely alone when hillwalking in the middle of the Scottish highlands.
Yeah, that's a very interesting observation. I'm trying to think of pre-internet means of doing that... You can't really observe without being observed in the absence of a broadcast mechanism. You're just the weird person in the back who shows up but doesn't talk to anyone.
Might actually be a genuinely novel mode of interaction (if we can really call it "interaction").
Without even communicating with others, even if there are known people in physical proximity, many people feel connected just by being “lurkers” in their favorite corners of the Internet. This is not like passive watching of (live) TV, but is a bit more of a controlled and conscious exercise. So connectedness (as an oppposite of loneliness) is not just about actively interacting with others, but being in a place where relatable people exist. The same applies to outings too. Just being anywhere where other people seem to be is enough to feel it.