Hello all, I made this burner acc on HN to try and ask people without showing exactly who I am.
So in short, I am going down the hill, I am starting to loose interest in almost anything but sitting and staring at the wall.
Now I am in this state in which nothing really interests me, I do not cook anymore, I do not go to the gym, hell if I leave my flat..
What is wrong with me?
I am a 26 year old, have been working in web dev since 19 trying to make a startup for the past 2-3 years, but I fail to see any progress. I just do not know how this life thing works!
I have ambitions, I do not want to remain in a 40-60k job (this is Europe) for the rest of my life, but through my work experience I was always seen as the young one and given no choice but to quit and get a new job in order to advance a bit further.
On the other side, I have made 3-4 projects, first solo and then with other people and all turned to ashes. I understand that the chances are incredibly low, but I cannot even find people that want to try and make something. It is literally insane, I have this feeling that I cannot find the people that I should be working with, either in a company or for a startup.
I used to work in 3 companies in Berlin and people were 9-5 and thats it. I had to keep on going to my bosses and ask for more work, more difficulty etc and when they all failed to deliver it, I quit.
I finally found out what I am actually good at. I consume a problem, find the solution, apply it and move on. If I dont do that constantly I get bored, but not like "oh this again?" I can handle this, but please! if you see the same thing over and over again let me automate it!
In my first work, I told them lets automate the provisioning and hibernation of our QA servers and save 2-3k per month. I got a no..
I could go on forever.. is this a normal thing?
Start cooking again, get back into exercising. They may seem pointless to you right now, but their purpose is twofold:
1) Your mental health is connected to your physical health. Maintaining good physical health is a way to bootstrap your mental health.
2) Doing so will constitute a series of small wins. Small wins serve as a sense of accomplishment that tend to self-reinforce, which will only motivate you further.
Beyond that, try to pinpoint the source of your unhappiness and take measures to negate it such that you're happy. The reason I say "negate" and not "fix" is because reality sometimes doesn't allow you to immediately fix things, only to negate them.
Going by your post, it seems you have a lot of dissatisfaction with your career and are possibly experiencing burnout, or perhaps simply boredom.
Some people view work as a means to an end and compartment it as such, with all the suck it entails. Others seek fulfillment in part via their work, and as such let work have a high impact upon their emotional well-being. There's no right or wrong answer here as to what approach is better, only what's better for you given your current constraints and situation.
Start being social again, find a hobby you enjoy, anything really to break the cycle you're in. Small wins build upon each other.
If you square away your personal life, you'll be in a much better position to introspect and improve your professional life. The converse might be true, but you definitely have far more control over the former.