I think that meaningful communication brings people together, but many people default away from meaningful communication for a number of reasons.
If you are broadcasting your communication to a group rather than having a one-on-one conversation, that communication is likely to become more impersonal. Being able to efficiently communicate with the family as a group is one of the things that makes something like Facebook seem worthwhile, but if you engage less with family members one-on-one as a result then you may water down the relationships.
If the method of communication is frustrating to you in some way, you may be less likely to fully invest yourself into the communication. You're on a phonecall and you could multitask, but you're having to hold the phone. Someone posts a message of substance that you have a lot of thoughts about, but you've always been bad at typing. You're good at typing, but you've never been great at expressing yourself in writing, etc.
With Facebook not everyone has the choice or convenience of communicating in the way that is most comfortable to them or best captures their personality, yet they may use it anyway. They might use Facebook for the efficiency of the many rather than best expressing themselves.
Sometimes there are workarounds, like recording your voice, a video or taking a photo of an event that may truly capture you. There are times where these work really well and are great communication, but many people aren't professionals at this and you get these staged or dry communications that don't come across as natural. A photo of someone standing there and smiling? A video of people that all know they're being recorded?
Just like when a performance feels off in a movie, something can feel off about all communication on Facebook.
To make matters worse, Facebook is not a private place. It is not a safe place. It is not the warmth of a home or the mistrusted ethereal privacy of a phonecall. Google, Facebook and others have repeatedly been in the news and featured in private conversations between people about how safe their information is online. Many people filter themselves online when it's attached to their identity and we are talking about identified relationships rather than anonymous users here.
Cell phones are terrible communication devices that are so convenient that it's respectful of people's time to have worse communication with them by using it. Voice quality we should be ashamed of in 2017 and text messaging where characters take so long to input that messages with real substance are rare is a sad reality.
These services and devices are better in addition to personal contact rather than as a replacement, but many people are slowly tricked into feeling that going through the effort of meeting in person is now very inefficient. There's that nagging idea in the back of the mind that, well if you're going to go through that trouble you could just Skype or Facetime, but of course you don't for some reason you find hard to define.
An exception is parties or gatherings. That feels efficient, because enough people will be present that you would feel left out or it would be disrespectful not to go due to some special occasion. Unfortunately, it can be harder to have quality one-on-one time at parties. Maybe you want to say things to someone, but you don't want it to be overheard. Maybe the party is too loud, so it's not a good environment for a good conversation.
When you watch a movie with someone, you might have seen them pull out their tablet or their phone and suddenly the movie feels less meaningful. Part of the idea of watching that movie with them, was that it was an experience you were sharing. Every second was something you had in common, but now it is fractured. Part of you is glad, that if they aren't enjoying the movie then they have a quiet alternative. Another part of you is annoyed that surely they know it's rude or distracting, but they did it anyway.
Facebook seems like that, to me. A fractured experience that you accept for convenience or politeness, but also a party where one-on-one interactions just seem hindered.
Every time I see a company anywhere integrate Facebook into their product or service, I feel like it is rude. Whether it is Blizzard's Battle.net client curiously adding Facebook streaming or a simple like button on a website, these integrations aren't trying to enrich my life. It's about business and it's about efficiency. This infection is not Facebook's fault. It's not the fault of cell phones. It's a natural evolution of technology that has unfortunate consequences.
Just as corporations try to optimize for their bottom line and often lose part of their magic along the way, we will naturally optimize our own time for the most impact if provided the easy choice. Cell phones and social networks have given us tools to do just that which has had tremendous benefits, but many people forget that some magic was lost along the way too.
I'm not saying Facebook is all bad and it might be the only option for some people, so there's something to be said for that. It also helps a lot of people meet or coordinate with eachother that might not otherwise. I just don't like that it has become this social catch-all that can be also very effective at unintentionally suppressing other more valuable forms of communication.
If you are broadcasting your communication to a group rather than having a one-on-one conversation, that communication is likely to become more impersonal. Being able to efficiently communicate with the family as a group is one of the things that makes something like Facebook seem worthwhile, but if you engage less with family members one-on-one as a result then you may water down the relationships.
If the method of communication is frustrating to you in some way, you may be less likely to fully invest yourself into the communication. You're on a phonecall and you could multitask, but you're having to hold the phone. Someone posts a message of substance that you have a lot of thoughts about, but you've always been bad at typing. You're good at typing, but you've never been great at expressing yourself in writing, etc.
With Facebook not everyone has the choice or convenience of communicating in the way that is most comfortable to them or best captures their personality, yet they may use it anyway. They might use Facebook for the efficiency of the many rather than best expressing themselves.
Sometimes there are workarounds, like recording your voice, a video or taking a photo of an event that may truly capture you. There are times where these work really well and are great communication, but many people aren't professionals at this and you get these staged or dry communications that don't come across as natural. A photo of someone standing there and smiling? A video of people that all know they're being recorded?
Just like when a performance feels off in a movie, something can feel off about all communication on Facebook.
To make matters worse, Facebook is not a private place. It is not a safe place. It is not the warmth of a home or the mistrusted ethereal privacy of a phonecall. Google, Facebook and others have repeatedly been in the news and featured in private conversations between people about how safe their information is online. Many people filter themselves online when it's attached to their identity and we are talking about identified relationships rather than anonymous users here.
Cell phones are terrible communication devices that are so convenient that it's respectful of people's time to have worse communication with them by using it. Voice quality we should be ashamed of in 2017 and text messaging where characters take so long to input that messages with real substance are rare is a sad reality.
These services and devices are better in addition to personal contact rather than as a replacement, but many people are slowly tricked into feeling that going through the effort of meeting in person is now very inefficient. There's that nagging idea in the back of the mind that, well if you're going to go through that trouble you could just Skype or Facetime, but of course you don't for some reason you find hard to define.
An exception is parties or gatherings. That feels efficient, because enough people will be present that you would feel left out or it would be disrespectful not to go due to some special occasion. Unfortunately, it can be harder to have quality one-on-one time at parties. Maybe you want to say things to someone, but you don't want it to be overheard. Maybe the party is too loud, so it's not a good environment for a good conversation.
When you watch a movie with someone, you might have seen them pull out their tablet or their phone and suddenly the movie feels less meaningful. Part of the idea of watching that movie with them, was that it was an experience you were sharing. Every second was something you had in common, but now it is fractured. Part of you is glad, that if they aren't enjoying the movie then they have a quiet alternative. Another part of you is annoyed that surely they know it's rude or distracting, but they did it anyway.
Facebook seems like that, to me. A fractured experience that you accept for convenience or politeness, but also a party where one-on-one interactions just seem hindered.
Every time I see a company anywhere integrate Facebook into their product or service, I feel like it is rude. Whether it is Blizzard's Battle.net client curiously adding Facebook streaming or a simple like button on a website, these integrations aren't trying to enrich my life. It's about business and it's about efficiency. This infection is not Facebook's fault. It's not the fault of cell phones. It's a natural evolution of technology that has unfortunate consequences.
Just as corporations try to optimize for their bottom line and often lose part of their magic along the way, we will naturally optimize our own time for the most impact if provided the easy choice. Cell phones and social networks have given us tools to do just that which has had tremendous benefits, but many people forget that some magic was lost along the way too.
I'm not saying Facebook is all bad and it might be the only option for some people, so there's something to be said for that. It also helps a lot of people meet or coordinate with eachother that might not otherwise. I just don't like that it has become this social catch-all that can be also very effective at unintentionally suppressing other more valuable forms of communication.